Here. I promised you the bones. The Filthy and the Gorgeous. The Lowly and the Divine. The Mountains and the Valleys of the Soul.
I write to you from a valley. I am not ashamed to be here. It just is. It is part of this journey. An obstacle on a life map. Clutching my writing scrawled on paper, frozen for days, I report to you live from an inner battlefield.
I call out to the Muses for inspiration and this is what they answer…..
A map of Candyland. I question it for a moment, and then trace along the path and realize…..
I am in Molasses Swamp.
In all of the spaces on this board, that is where I have fallen. And everyone knows that it takes a second to get out of Molasses Swamp.
Somebody has to draw the blue card.
And you’ve got to sit there in molasses until someone does. But when they do…. oh, when they do… and they will, it is destiny itself with a blue square righting the world, and then you are MERE steps away from the Candyland house – where the sun will shine down upon you once again.
I write this because I feel like there are others in the Swamp beside me as I type these words.
You might be there. And in this space of darkness, I can feel around for your hand and hold it and whisper to you all the promises of the blue card. The planned escape. The release from the muck. The perfect house of candy that awaits us.
I saved the above to draft and went to get coffee at my favorite local place. I get inspiration from walking. Moving. Interacting. My friends were there, the ones who gather over caffeine for tales and inspiration.
The sun came out. I sat on a bench in a tattered 80 year old lace top, that is only held together at the neck and at the waist. Not purposely. It’s just all that’s left of the delicate buttons that used to line it. I leaned forward, on the bench, my head on my knees, exposing my bare back to all that the sunshine has to offer.
Today I am writing. I am working on my book. I am dappling in lyrics of a song that formed in my sleep. I am moving forward. Clawing my way out of the molasses.
I am about to shut off my access to the internet for the next three hours to do nothing but write. Before I shut it off, I will open 13 tabs and type the names of 13 friends that inspire me and support me. I click on their Facebook pages – their personal “altars” of the internet. If I get stuck in my writing, with the internet no longer on, but with their images pulled up, I can just glance at them for a moment, and remind myself of the support and camaraderie that exists in this journey. I screen grab a photo of Marlene Dietrich, Amelia Earhart, Oscar Wilde. I call on their adventurous spirits to aid me in my writing.
This is where I am right now with my beloved familiar, Niney. You can use this photo to connect with me….I sit alongside you in this tribe, in this circle of support across the virtual creative world. I am here.
You are not alone.
In this moment, the afternoon sun is streaming in. I am sitting on my favorite Victorian couch in my sanctuary in Brooklyn. My eyes are closed because I am intent on listening to the wisdom of the Muses.
I am a woman with dreams swirling in my mind about to set them to form.
The blue card has been drawn.