I’m kind of a gutter boy among a bunch of lovely ladies on tour.
I wake up in yesterday’s makeup.
The foot of my bunk is decorated with bras that girls have thrown at me on stage, letters with their lipstick prints are taped to the wall.
When the Captain is looking for healthy food for us to eat, I’m looking for the nearest strip club.
Emilie and Maggot come prepared with vitamins and gorgeous trunks of oils, and I’m all about vitamins as long as they are shaped like Fred Flintstone.
Most times I’m a mess.
So when people have asked online in the past: “What’s your makeup removal secrets?”
I laughed out loud and thought seriously about typing the truth…
But my boyish heart in this girlish body has learned alot over the past five years on tour about maintaining a health and beauty routine on the go with the gorgeous girls I have the pleasure of touring with. They have changed my evil ways.
Because while on tour:
- I have dutifully washed my face in a 24 hour WalMart sink at 3am.
- I have turned a truck stop bathroom in the middle of nowhere in Germany into a glamour spa from the contents found in my magic blue travel case.
- I have smeared a green facial mask on to break-in to a historical cemetary in Poland.
Now that’s some badass beauty style!
I was schooled by the best! So here are five quick tips that we used daily on the road that will keep you healthy and glowing.
I can’t remember who on the bus originally introduced me to this – but this is a natural beauty secret that all the girls have loved. It’s my personal favorite for taking off makeup. It’s natural. It makes your skin feel hydrated and clean. There are lots of great brands out there.
Insider Tip: Make sure the one you buy is “organic virgin coconut oil”. Then simply take a small amount and put on your face. It doesn’t sting my eyes, so I can gently rub the oil around my eyelids and let it break up my eyeliner and eyelash glue. Next, take a washcloth, muslin cloth or cotton rounds and warm them for a moment by running them under hot water. Then, gently glide across your face. Your makeup will come off quicker than our corsets after a show!
2. My Favorite Natural Skin Smoother.
100% Pure Cocoa Butter
If there is a shower backstage, we generally have a short time frame before we have to be out the door and onto the bus for the next city. Even if I only get a quick 5 minute shower, as soon as I get out, I cover my skin head to toe in cocoa butter. A lot of people focus on moisturizing just their faces, or their hands, and ignore the rest. Don’t let that be you! Take a good amount and glide it all over your body when you get out of a shower. I slowly reach behind the backs of my legs all the way down to my ankles and give my body a stretch while I’m applying it everywhere. It will make your skin soft and glowing, plus it’s naturally loaded with vitamins that will prevent stretch marks and aging.
Insider Tip: Make sure you read the label and it says 100% cocoa butter! One night, as Emilie and I wandered through a 24 hour drug store, I noticed they didn’t have the usual brands I get. So I just grabbed one that looked cute. I mean, what else are they going to put in it besides cocoa butter? Well, Emilie glanced over the ingredients and showed me all the bad things that were in it. I definitely don’t want all those added chemicals on my skin! So just make sure it says 100% pure cocoa butter and you’ll be smooth as butter, baby!
3. My Favorite All-Purpose Health Awesomeness.
I learned this secret from Gala Darling and she has gotten me hooked! On the bus, each of us had our own bottle, and we’d start each day off the rock and roll way – knocking back a shot of the real good stuff. Do about a spoonful in the morning, like Gala suggests. It’s an intense taste, but it’s one of the reasons that I stayed healthy all tour and I’m glad I’ve added it to my health routine.
Extra Bonus Tip: My Mom-in-Law, Joanne, who is a kick ass woman and one of my favorite people on earth, also taught me to dilute the apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle so that it’s half apple cider vinegar and half water (if you have sensitive skin – use more water than apple cider vinegar). After you get out of the shower, spray all over your body and hair. It restores your Ph balance and softens skin. When I’m at home, I shut off the water of my shower, and spray the mixture all over my skin and hair. I stand there for a few moments, eyes closed, thinking about all the great things I want to happen that day. After about four minutes, I pat dry off with a towel and then some days I will add cocoa butter on top depending on how I feel. The apple cider smell goes away in minutes! Don’t worry. It’s so worth it and makes your skin shine.
4. The Secret Little Oils.
This other main secret way we stayed healthy on the bus is all the little capsules that Emilie and the Captain would make every single day. We’d have our breakfast in the back lounge of the bus in the morning, listening to Emilie’s 1920s music while we woke up and then the capsules would come out. Emilie and Magpie would fill them with ingestible essential oils and we would all take them. I had never seen anything like this before I toured and it has changed my life!
Insider Tip: I know for a fact, that several mornings on the bus I woke up and I knew I was thisclose to being sick. My throat was hurting, and I wasn’t feeling great. But I never succumbed to the sickness because I fought it with the magic capsule formula every day. You can find empty gelatin free capsules in health food stores or online at places like here. Then you can fill with ingestible essential oils like oregano, lemon and rosemary. (note: most essential oils out there are not ingestible grade -so be careful when you are shopping for oils.) Contessa makes her own mix safe, powerful and ingestible mix already prepared that I swear by – available here.
I am so lucky to be surrounded by women who are serious about their health and take it to the next level. I’ve got a lot of adventuring left in this body and I want to treat it as best as I can.
5. Scouting Out the Best Food You Can Find! The Captain was so good at this – she earned the nickname “Scout” on tour. If there was healthy, awesome food around, she would find it.
Scout’s secret weapon? Yelp.com.
We land in a new city every single day on tour…and many times, we’ve never been there before. “Scout” would use Yelp to find menus to suit our vegetarian tastes, places nearby and most importantly, helped us to support locally owned businesses. I signed up this morning on Yelp to give reviews to some amazing indie restaurants that deserve to be known about. Look for future posts where I’ll let you know my recommendations for places all over the country, and also Emilie has volunteered to share some of her secret health recipes for future posts!
Do you have secret beauty and health recipes you’d like to dish? Share below in the comments. I’ve got a lot more to learn – and I’d love to hear from you!
Last week, I was floored by the amazing responses to How To Write the Sexiest, Most Passionate Love Letter Ever…To Yourself. You made me cry. I promised if you wrote a love letter to yourself in the comments, you could win a chance at winning a love letter from me.
Chosen by random.org, the love letter winner is: Lauren Bishop. Congratulations, Lauren! Email me at veronica at dangerdame dot com with the subject heading “Love Letter Winner” with your address.
THANK YOU ALL for being passionate, kick ass people and thank you for accepting my dare and writing your love letters in the comments. Even if you didn’t win this week, you made me fall in love with you even more…..
See you back here for Things I Think About Thursday!