You just know.
Most times, you know from the second that you meet them…
Your lovely co-conspirators.
I had waited my whole life for them.
I tried to tackle my dreams alone and I realized – I could only get to a certain level. But then they started to show up…one by one….
the people who inspire me, the people who push me further, the people who support my dreams and ideas, the people who make me be a better person.
my whole world opened up.
Be the Thelma to my Louise. The Lucy to my Ethel. The Marilyn to my Jane.
Wanna rock out with your best potential partners-in-crime?
Here’s the three tips to clear the obstacles out of your path to build your own version of Andy Warhol’s Factory.
- Who are the people you’re surrounding yourself with?
My Grandma Helen used to say – “Our friends are mirrors of ourselves.”
I choose my friends by what I want to see in my “mirror”.
I friend-lust for people who:
– will boldly leap into the unknown to pursue their wildest dreams.
– say “Yes” to adventure and to a life without boundaries.
– are always learning and always growing.
– refuse to let boredom or monotony win.
– stand up for what they believe in.
– believe that their imagination is one of their greatest assets.
Because this is the kind of person I want to be.
In the past, my friends were determined by the location I was in. I had friends that I associated with in school that I didn’t feel like I could be my true self around all the time, I would censor myself occasionally so that I wouldn’t offend them.
I also had friends that would nay-say my dreams – I can’t tell you how many times I heard…”But you can’t do burlesque for a living…it’s impossible.” or “When are you going to get a real job?” or “Sure that’s a nice fantasy, but this is the real world.”
So guess what? I full on DITCHED those people.
Censoring myself, dumbing down the true me and hiding my dreams away as to not get judged by them were the most destructive things that kept me from the life I wanted to live.
- Do they push you to be your best self?
When I first started burlesque, I was super intimidated to be around people that were more experienced than me (which was basically everyone). I would judge myself against them and I would always come up short. How did I deal with this originally? By avoiding shows with more experienced performers, and by leaving my own shows right after I was finished – so I wouldn’t harshly critique myself against others.
This went against my own success and my own growth.
One day, Burlesque Superstar, Jo Weldon, reached out to me to perform in one of her student showcases and got me in the door to the Slipper Room. I was shocked that she would even waste her time reaching out to me back then, but she believed in me. She has since become one of my best friends and our friendship has inspired me not only to stretch myself to become a better performer, but also to stretch myself to become a better business woman. Jo owns the School of Burlesque and many times our lunches are gorgeous brainstorms of new fun business ideas that make us both almost orgasmic by the end.Friends like Jo inspire me and push me to be better, think bigger and show me that all things are possible.
- Do you 100% believe in their dreams and do they believe in yours? Do you have a mutually supportive relationship?
I will never forget the moment I heard the Marilyn Manson lyric:
“I don’t believe in the things that don’t believe in me.”
It said something that I hadn’t thought of in that way before and instantly it was how I wanted to live my life. I am on board with my friends’ dreams 100%. They’ve got my back and I’ve got theirs. We lift each other up, we help each other out, and that’s how we are able to grow so much together.
Blogging Rockstar, Miss Gala Darling, fueled my passion to start working on the Danger Diary three times a week. Not only has she given me super tips and great feedback through her Blogcademy, but she’s also linked to her favorite blog entries of mine, introducing her world readership to my blog which helped sail my readership through the roof. Gala and Jo are just two examples of many wonderful, inspiring friends that I am honored to have in this lifetime, who I would lay down on railroad tracks for. We encourage each other, brainstorm together, and make a damn good creative community. When we take the time to help each other I know for a fact that I can achieve more with my friends than I ever could alone.
F#&k trying to be a lone wolf. F*&k jealousy. F*&k competitiveness.
We are all in this together.
Try it! Dare a friend to declare the next step toward their dreams. Then declare yours. Work together to keep each other on track and become each others’ support system. Watch as your dreams unfold in double time.
Let’s sit and feast at the table of World Domination together.
Pull up a chair, Co-Conspirator.
If you liked this entry – check out my tips to be inspired by your own magic crew in The Circle of Seven: When You Need Your Own Badass Gang Of Inspiration.