Things I Think About Thursday: Wild and 15.

Me and My Friend, Cindy, on a road trip.  We raised hell at 15 together.

Me and My Friend, Cindy, on a road trip. We raised hell at 15 together.

“I’m fifteen, definitely,” I said as an answer to her question.

We were having tea on a snowy day, when my friend Babs asked me what my perfect age was, how old I felt.

And I thought about it….

How old would you think you are, if say, you woke up with amnesia and there was no mirrors and you had no identification telling you how old you were supposed to be?

There have been times in my life where I had tons of responsibility, was working myself to death and felt like I was one thousand years old, there’s times when I felt like I was 9 – running through Disney World as an adult – insisting on riding all the rides a million times, fiending over the cotton candy and the popcorn.

But now, I feel like I’m 15… I always feel like I’ve got the house to myself, and my parents are coming home any second.

I’m taking guitar lessons and staying up late writing.
I randomly have dance parties in my living room.
I’ve been go-go-ing like mad at the Slipper Room.
I got a nose ring. 
I have secret coven meetings with my witchy friends. 
I’m trying to decide between 3 tattoos I want. 
I’m feeling like life has all sorts of wild possibilities to it.

So I ask you now….. because I love hearing your responses….

How old would you think you are, if say, you woke up with amnesia and there was no mirrors and you had no identification telling you how old you were supposed to be?

And why?

Writing you love notes in study hall and slipping them in your locker,

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The 3 Most Erotic Places To Touch Someone With Your Clothes Still On



Yeah, you.

Don’t think that I don’t see the page views soar through the roof here when I give some sassy tips.

You naughty thing.

Well, I’ll indulge you.  Because it’s almost Valentine’s Day.  And I know exactly what you want.

I have schemes AND scientific backup.  Damn. Ready to be schooled?

♥  The Hands

Science:   A Mayo Clinic Study found that the sensitivity of our palms of our hands are second only to *ahem* down there.

Story:  Junior Year High School.  Study Hall.  I’m the goth punk freak that exactly three people talk to.   Cool kid, Jennifer Belsy, overhears me telling my friend that I’ve been reading palms since I was 10 and that the sight runs in my family.   Jennifer sticks out her palm to put my eyes on and the next day, *bam* I suddenly have a line of girls (who previously never knew I existed) waiting to be read.

If I knew then what I know know, I would have been class president by the end of the year. Most people do not realize how sensitive, intimate and receptive our palms are. Business people talk about how important a handshake is, and they are right!

DO this:  Grab your crush’s hand, and expose their palm face up, cradling their hand in your own. With your free hand, gently drag your fingers from their wrist to their fingertips, unfolding their hand if it is clenched, relaxing their fingers to a gentle curve if they are stretched stiff and straight.

Then using the most delicate touch, trace your fingertips along the lines of their palm.  When your crush asks what you see…. murmur… “mmmm, interesting.”  Study the palm chart below so that you have some idea of what you’re talking about, and call out the names of each line as you trace.  Lean close.  Make sure you look directly into your crush’s eyes as you say….”this is your love line” and drop your eyes back down to the palm…. “this is your life line” and drop your eyes, and so on. 

Finish with an insightful Hmmmm, then fold their hand back up and release it.  When they press you for secrets (like you’ve just been hypnotized through touch and will now be my sex slave forever) tell your crush you’re just learning, but say it in a confident way that lets them know you know exactly what lies in their future.

This chart is your friend:

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For more info – Gala has got a damn good Palmistry 101 post.

♥ The Scalp

Science:  Giving someone a scalp massage releases a chemical in the brain known as  oxytocin, a stress blocking hormone that provides a sense of calm while enhancing sexual pleasure, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.

Story:  In high school, I worked at a hair salon – I would answer phones, check people in and schedule appointments . One day, after a stylist called in sick and they were overwhelmed with clients – they asked me to do the shampoos.  Now.  Keep in mind, I’m not allowed to date, I’m 17 and haven’t even held anyone’s hand yet (minus a spin-the-bottle girl kiss) and I am wildly repressed.  Teenage hormones are raging through my body and I’m an untouchable.  The mere thought of touching anyone’s head seemed so overwhelmingly sensual to me.  I lathered up that shampoo and went for it – dragging my nails and scrubbing slowly.

After that day, women would come in and personally request me to shampoo their hair.  I went from a floor sweeping no-one to shampoo pervert specialist.   I got to New York City on the tips that I saved from that job!

Do This:  You know how people are always trying to do the back massage thing?  Here’s a fact – shoulder blades – not an erogenous zone.
Scalp?  Yes, please!
Turn the tables on a boring back massage by walking your fingers up to the scalp.  Start from the back of the neck at the bottom of the skull and start to massage.  Let your fingers fan out.  In other words, start with fingertips all close together in a spot and let them all glide apart slowly, each finger parting the hair.  Glide the tips of fingers and fingernails right along the scalp.  Once you’ve reached the top of the head you can step it up a little by starting at the bottom again and this time, after fanning your fingers out, close them again catching the hair in your fist, gently pull the hair a little before releasing. Be careful not to pull single strands, but distribute the pressure evenly over the whole handful. Your crush will be begging for more!

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♥  Behind Earlobes and Along Jaw.

Science:  The Kinsey Institute has classified this area as an erogenous zone for both men and women.  Body language studies have shown that when men or women are flirting – they subconsciously tend to expose their neck to their person of interest.

Story:   Vampires.  I’m obsessed with them.  And not the sparkly kind.  When I discovered Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles – the stories were dark, sensual and mysterious.  Before I even had my first kiss, I would fantasize about what it would be like to be bitten on the neck.  I wanted to wander across a vampire so badly – because – hey…
1.  Eternal life.
2.  Neck bites.

Do This:  Pretend your crush has a stray strand of hair on their cheek.  Sweep it aside and tuck it behind their ear.  But do it SLOWLY.  Drag your fingertips along the back of their ear and behind the earlobe and down the curve behind the jaw.  Play very casual, but it may take a second or third brushing to get them looking (and feeling) just right. Then announce, “That’s better.” And act like nothing just happened.  Meanwhile, your crush is melting.  Trust me.

Once you’ve snagged your Crush and neck touching is totally legal – take a feather to the back of their ear and trace it slowly along their jawline.

Who knew this innocent little feather would be a powerful weapon of seduction?

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Happy Valentine’s Day, you Naughty Things.
Bites and Feathers,
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A Few of My Favorite Things

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****Follow my blog with Bloglovin!
Guys. I think I’m a blogger.
I have spent the last 14 months writing 3 times a week and spent 15 hours a week working on the Danger Diary.
This is a serious relationship.
Thank you for being here with me every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
We should get married or something.
I joined Bloglovin this week – so that all my fav blogs are rounded up in one space as they update. I am SO into this because then I never miss a thing. If you wanna follow me, click the link above and let’s be all dating and stuff.

In the wide world of the futuristic internets, there is so much fun and wild out there. Today’s post is dedicated to Some of My Favorite Things I’ve found:
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This scarf has me starry-eyed! How to Make Your Own Constellation Scarf.

– Interested in going vegan with me? Alise Marie has got you covered with the most delicious and sexy recipes. How to make your own Kale Chips, Vegan and GF Banana Bread, and Power/Bliss Balls. Being vegan has never been this yummy!
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– How do you do? Alexandra tells you How To Introduce Yourself to Anybody in 3 Lines or Less.

This video made me stupid cry over how romantic it was. I wasn’t the only one who saw it. The man who bullied the guy in the video back in high school, apologized to him over Facebook afterwards and wished him luck.

– Yep.  An 81 year old musician just put his first CD out – and it’s incredible.   Natanya’s post – Proof You Can Be Or Do Anything started my week off right.

-It’s no secret I have an urban exploring-trespassing-thrill fetish – in the next year I’m going here.

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-This week I’ve been surrounded by Tarot Cards doing my Kickstarter readings and keep going back to this great article from Gala – Season of the Witch. Rune rings to die for!

-I LOVE some nice hookups! Check out Sarah’s list here.

-Perfect to re-read for 2014 – XOSarah tells us 101 Ways to Find Inspiration, Stay Motivated & Achieve Your Goals

And because I love to take you with me…this is 20 something gorgeous seconds on my morning hike in a tiny little video:

It’s snowed so much here that the snowbanks are higher than my chihuahua…..
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See you tomorrow with a special “Random Acts of Kindness” Post.

How To Change A Stranger’s Day with Three Words.

My Snow Shoes.

I was ready for an adventure.
The sun was streaming through the trees.
In the forest that I walk, there is a large heart shaped rock and the bottom point of the heart points home.
At the heart rock, that is where the trail breaks off into three different trails to choose….
I closed my eyes and was drawn towards one.
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I imagined myself in some old Choose Your Own Adventure book.
I wondered where I would end up and what treasures I could find in the wild.
The path was waiting….
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I could hear the stream
singing in the distance.
Branches on the ground were shaped like runes.
I looked up to the sun in the sky.
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I turned a corner and…
stopped in my tracks.
There it was.
Between two trees on a board of wood:
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When I saw it, my whole chest lit up like I found the secret I was looking for.
Some twigs a stranger arranged to spell the words to the world
that I stumbled upon
in the middle of a forest.
I’ll never know the person who did it –
but seeing that made my day.

It inspired me to gather twigs and sticks and create my own “I love you” messages – one which I left in front of our hobbit door of our house for Burke to find when he came home.

I peeked through the crack where the two doors came together and saw his face change when he saw it.
He found treasure there, too.

The UPS guy, the next day, thought it was pretty cool, as well.

Tomorrow is a big day.
It is the last day to submit to the Act of Kindness Challenge and the last day to submit your name and mailing address to be included in the International Secret Valentine Exchange.
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Over 100 responses came in during the first few hours of the International Valentine Exchange…this is a chance for you to be able to send a Valentine to a stranger somewhere in the world, and for another stranger somewhere else in the world to send one to you. We are making this Valentine’s Day a secret adventure.

Please pass on this info to others, put it on your facebook and your twitter, spread the word so that no one needs to feel alone or sad on that day. My goal is to get 1,000 people involved in the project. We can do this together. Click here for the link with all the info!

Please join us. Your kind words can make a huge difference to someone else. Know this.

Love to all…. Wave at me in the comments after you’ve signed up!

30 Minute Coffee House Date – Who Do You Pick?

Artwork By GretelGirl

Artwork By GretelGirl

I have a question for you.

Her eyebrows raised…“It’s hard not to go directly to thinking about past lovers,” she said.

“Agreed,” he said.

“But then there’s people you just want to get forgiveness from, or people you fell out of touch with that you just really want to say hello to again. Those would make a better choice.”

I was in my favorite coffee hangout.
And in that place in between sleep and awake…
I had asked them a question that popped in my mind.

Can I ask you a question?

You’re sitting in a coffee house – and you can pick one person from your past that you fell out of touch with to have a latte with for 30 minutes.

  • It has to be someone you haven’t spoken to in the last 6 months.
  • No matter what the circumstance was when you last saw them – they are really happy to see you and you are happy to see them.
  • You can thank them for however they inspired you in life – and they will get to know that.
  • You can say you’re sorry (if that applies) and they will forgive you.
  • They can apologize to you (if that applies) and you will forgive them.
  • You will both leave the coffee house feeling better about everything.
  • It has to be someone that is still currently on this earth, to the best of your knowledge.
  • It has to be someone that you know in real life.

Is it an old teacher, a childhood friend who moved, that friend you lost touch with when you went to school, that person who lived on your block that you saw everyday but don’t know what ever happened to them, an old boyfriend/girlfriend, someone who helped change the course of your life, someone who moved across the world that you might not get to see as often days of not speaking turned into months, perhaps it’s a great aunt or family member who life has been so busy you haven’t picked up the phone to call.

Who would you choose?

Tell me in the comments who and why.  You don’t need to name names.

And if you are really brave and up to a challenge…contact that person in the next 24 hours.

So – you walk into a coffee house, who sits down across from you…..?
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The Day of All Days in my Wild Love Affair

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I had this journal.
It was green and velvet.
I wrote an adventure in it about this boy that I was falling in love with.
One night, when it was late
and I was crazy
and not thinking
I showed him the green velvet diary.

He said I was a great writer.
He loved the bits of story I had written.
We brainstormed together.
Made it a game.
Made it bigger.
Late into one night,
he turned to me with tears in his eyes
and told me the ending
and I saw it
like I was there.

And that was the beginning of everything.

It became our screenplay.
Our story.
The thing that happened
when our wild imaginations combined to be one thing.
This world
that we wrote side by side
in a tiny room
for over a year.
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We went on a road trip
and we spent nights sleeping
side by side
in a van
covered with paintings
of tropical fish.

We took a wild chance.
I was afraid.
But he said yes.
“I believe in us.”

And the world said yes.


And this is the year
that this boy that I fell in love with
the one who taught me to adventure
and pushed me to believe in myself…
this storyteller of the ages..
the one who dares
who pushes
who lives boldly
with his adventurous heart
will get to live his dream
and to tell the world that story.
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He is my hero.

And this is the day
he was born.
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Happy Birthday
to my soul mate
my true love
my adventure partner
my hero
Burke Heffner…..

Annual “Eff it” Part Two

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I heralded in 2014 howling at the moon under the stars in a field of sparkling crystal snow.
My altars decorated – filled with intention and candles.
My space cleaned and organized – ready to take 2014 on in a focused storm.
My gratitude lists made, my dreams for the New Year outlined, a plan made.
…..And part of my skeleton broken.

Even though I had tried to make everything perfect headed into the first day of 2014, nature has its own ideas, and the root canal tooth split in half. Losing part of my skeleton, after I tried so hard to save it, was a bit devastating for the first day of the year.

It was only when the day turned into night, and Niney and I went out to the woods alone together on a walk….when in the quiet of a dark forest the snow fell down around us, that I felt okay. The tooth breaking wasn’t the best thing, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. I’m going to make a necklace out of that fucker.

It is all an adventure.

And here I stood on the first day of the new year, with my best animal friend, in a peaceful forest in snow.

I choose to say yes to adventure this year.
I choose to say yes to ups and downs and to navigate them all with as much grace as I can.
And of course, I choose to say “Eff it.”
Here’s what I wrote on the first day of last year. It rings true to me and was one of my most re-posted blogs.
I love you guys. Happy New Year.

It is now almost 3 in the afternoon, and I have rolled out of my swinging bed and here I am….with you.

Happy New Year, Love. Welcome to a chance to start something new.

I woke up this afternoon and one of my first thoughts was – “I am simply not qualified to tell anyone to How To anything this morning.”

I wish I could tell you that my apartment is spotless, that I have everything in my life completely in order, and my New Year’s Resolutions are carefully outlined to the letter.

It would be lies.

My apartment is a tornado right now of suitcases, costumes, pastie tape, piles of books, strewn high heels, rumples of clothes, and red glitter (see above photo).

The blue latex dress I wore last night is flung on the couch next to the random leftover microwaved box of Annie’s Mexican food that I had last night before racing to the Tribeca Grand Hotel for a gig and then Dances of Vice to ring in the New Year and gig.

Nothing is in order. Not a single resolution has escaped my lips or entered my mind.

So what to write? How can I share with you a How To Tuesday from an honest place?

This is what I can share:
“How to Wake Up On New Year’s Day and say Fuck it.”

In the past five years, I’ve been guilty of the making-too-many-goals thing, of wanting to do everything and then succeeding on some things and failing hard on others. I have got in this goal cycle of shaming myself if I think I haven’t done enough or reached as far as I’d like to, and then feeling on top of the world when something that I’ve done has worked or gets noticed.

I wrote this – and I erased it. Then I wrote it again and I’m keeping it: I feel as if my self-esteem rises and falls in direct correlation of what I am or what I am not achieving.

That’s why this post is called “How to Wake Up On New Year’s Day and say F it.”

When I was really little and you were really little – we didn’t know what goals were. I spent my time adventuring in the woods, jumping in the lagoon to swim with my dog, riding my bike, playing “pretend” – making up elaborate lives and stories with my other little friends. The world was this big, curious, interesting thing to explore.

And then school started, and I remember really wanting to do good. I wanted to be the best student and the best person I could be. I remember stressing over tests, worrying if I would do well or not. This worry would sometimes overshadow those days of bike riding or playing with my friends.

My self-esteem was in my grades. I remember one time in particular when the teacher placed the paper in front of me with a D+ on it in red and I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I felt like my world was crashing down. She wrote “See Me” on the top and when I did, she was concerned because I normally got A’s and she wanted to know what was going on. I had disappointed her. And this made me feel even worse.

I look at this now and think…. F it. Getting a D grade for that test was just a way the school was saying – “Hey. You didn’t really get this lesson. Maybe you should look back over this and figure it out so that you can work it out better in the future.” No big deal.

But instead it made me rip the test up in a million pieces in shame and it made me not want to go back on the lesson I didn’t understand. It made me hate math.

All these years of goals and expectations I’ve put on myself is enough to weigh down the world.

Do you know what I’m talking about?

So on this New Year of 2013 – I say F the resolutions, F needing to do a billion things, F having my self esteem rise and fall with what I am doing or not doing.

That’s why I asked you yesterday in my post – not what your resolutions were, but what your secret desires were.

My desire for this New Year is that I see this world like I did when I was really small… full of adventure – whether it’s just on my street or far away. I want to not shame myself if I don’t get what I wanted to get done in a day because I wanted to spend a moment enjoying a walk with Niney, cuddling with Burke, hanging out with my friends or reading a book to adventure in my mind.

On my death bed, I’m not going to be thinking about the goals I did or didn’t achieve. I am going to be thinking about the fullness of the life I had lived.

Last night, I got into bed at 6:57am and noticed the Empire State Building sparkling for the first time ever. Surrounded by the mess of my imperfect life, I sat up in bed and watched in wonder as the lights sparkled and danced on top.

At the strike of 7am, the lights went out. I was able to put the sparkles of the Empire State Building to bed on the first day of the new year.

In another year, in another ten years, in another 30 years….I won’t remember that my room was a disaster that night, nor will I care.

I will remember ringing in the New Year surrounded by people I love, getting to sass it up in the wee hours of this new day doing a brand new number I created in a profession that I love, and watching the Empire State Building sparkle until the very last moment.

I want the freedom to live my life colored by these moments.

And I wish the same for you.

Happy New Year.