Things I Think About Thursday: The Stories of the Past

There is treasure in the past, buried under layers of time.

There is a morning reflection in a seaside motel mirror

that last saw me when I was 12…..

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The meeting with my Past last weekend is still working its voodoo on me.

My night dreams have been filled with an abandoned seaside,  the bright colors, the smell of popcorn and funnel cakes still lingering in the air, of the sounds of the wild waves crashing against the shore.

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It is walking alongside familiar ghosts.

When I was little, I was always afraid that our car on the Mighty Mouse roller coaster was going to shoot out into the sea….

I was half right.

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The Past called on me to come play and I said…

Yes.
Let me grab my quarters.

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I am still damn good at Skee Ball.

The Past was my Teacher this week.
It’s easy to frolic in places that my little self once did.
It’s simply picking up the dance where we left off…

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This Week’s Question for You:

If you could pick one place from your Past to go back to….

where would it be and why?

Whisper in the comments.

Things I Think About Thursday: Risk Taking

I am road sick.

It’s like home sick, but road sick.

When I can’t sleep in my bed because it doesn’t have the hum of wheels underneath it.

When I wake up in the middle of the night wondering where I am.

This is me. In a mirror. Backstage. Last show in Cleveland. In a potato sack.
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A dirty wandering thing, I am.

I’m sitting on the floor now. I can’t sleep. It’s 2am and the German man next door is playing his violin. I am curled on the floor with my ear to the wall to let the music put me under its spell, my fingers touching keys….talking to you.

We are all trying to communicate. 
Through song, through words, though thoughts. 
Desperate in the spaces of the night. 
In the lull of the moon.

It is Thursday. And I promised I’d be here. And so I am. In a tattered old slip, curled on a floor in the middle of the night. With you.

Let’s talk about the Now. Let’s talk about…
What we want.
What we crave.
What we desire.

And how to fucking get it.

I did something risky today.

I did two risky things today.

My arms got numb and my fingers typed out emails to two heroes of mine. I asked them if they would give me a personal quote for my book. I have been holding back asking – afraid they would not respond or they would think it was weird that I asked.

My fingers danced and clacked on the keyboard. I said what I wanted to – unedited. And then I asked. I hit send on both without even bothering to re-read or double check the letters. Because if I would have given it a second thought, maybe I would have deleted them all together.

I am in my raw, naked writing revolution.  Those are the best things anyway. The unedited version of me.

An editor lived in my brain for too long, wringing her hands over everything I thought, worrying about judgements, about consequence, about shame.

I fired her.  Purged her.  Brought up the voodoo in my soul to banish her.

Howled like a wolf.

Watch me.

There is dirt in a suitcase
and a seed of a story that will grow in the sun of this year.

And it is wild like weeds…..

Untamed.

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What wildly risky thing have you done that has been a success? Or what wildly risky thing do you commit to doing to make your life better or snag a dream?

Confess.

I’ve got my ear up against the wall in the night.

Listening.

Things I Think About Thursday: Taking a Chance

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I’m breaking the usual rules and going outlaw.

Today shall be:
Question to you first.
Then story.
Then question again.
Deal?

Question to you:

If you could be any man right now for one week, who would you be?

If you could be any woman right now for one week, who would you be?

Think about it and answer both in your mind. If you happen to be hanging out with people, ask them, too. It gets interesting….

Story Time:

Mississippi John Hurt

Mississippi John Hurt

The old blues musicians used to call it, “in the pocket”.

It’s that perfect place in a groove. A moment when everything falls into place, when inspiration has hit, when the Muses themselves flood the room…

That moment when everything is exactly as it should be.

When these two showed up at my hotel room and kidnapped me for two hours…I should have known it was gonna be one of those nights.

Medusa + Nik Sin + Me = Trouble

Medusa + Nik Sin + Me = Trouble

We landed at Karaoke from Hell at Dante’s in Portland. Live band. Karaoke. Trouble.

Within 15 minutes of being there, something happened. The band was on fire, people started pouring onto the dance floor, Medusa grabbed my hand and we danced and shook until we were sweaty and wild.

I felt out of my body. I didn’t care about anything else. It was a moment of being surrounded by friends, happy strangers, a band, crazy singing, heat, sweat, wild rock and roll.

I wasn’t going to see 97% of the people in the room ever again. So F it.
I was letting the voodoo of music move me into rapture.

We were in the pocket.

It feels so good when we are wild.
When we let go.
When we say F it.
When we aren’t held back.

Now back to the two people who were your answers for my question today for you….

I will bet money that the reason you picked them, the reason they popped into your mind first – is because they took a chance, they weren’t afraid of their own failures, they made a mark by going that extra bit, they did things that seemed practically impossible.

They got to that moment where they were in the pocket. And they brought you there with them.

You got to see what the old folks call – the shine. When someone’s doing that thing that they are put on this earth to do, and it lights up everyone who sees it.

Now. I can catch that sometimes.
I can be in the pocket sometimes.
I can be the shine for moments, and I’ve been in the shine for moments.
And I’m sharing right now in this diary, my mission is to get in that more. I want to push harder, I want to be raw and honest and unabashedly me.

My post here two days ago – Strip Clubs and You: How To Worship at the Temple?
I wouldn’t have posted that a few months ago. I know that. I would have been afraid to. Afraid of being judged. Afraid of being me. Afraid of speaking my mind about a subject considered taboo.

When I finished writing it, I was proud of it, but I will confess that I hovered over the publish button for about 10 seconds more than usual before I hit it.

And you know what happened? I got praised for it, by people I consider my own personal heroes, like Jo Weldon. And I got attacked for it, by people I’ve never met, who don’t know me.

And you know what? I’ll take that chance.

Because all the people I would ever strive to be like took that chance.

Dr. Seuss once said, “Be yourself because the people that mind don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t mind.”

My Twin Sister and Hero, Our Lady J and Me

My Twin Sister and Hero, Our Lady J and Me Backstage

Now…back to the question. Answer below in the comments – who are the two people (one male, one female) that you would want to be for a week. Then say in one word or a short sentence about each – what quality do they have that you are drawn to the most?

AND then…after you answer think about how you can draw that quality to you more.

One person who comments below will be randomly chosen by random.org to receive a postcard from me on the road. A cute little Route 66 postcard I picked up.

Always interested to see your answers….

Things I Think About Thursday

We cross many miles and state lines, past sleeping houses and midnight truck stops…and the road seeps into my subconscious world when I dream.

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Me on the Road, somewhere in America

The road stirs up questions and thoughts. I tossed and turned in my bunk last night. I got up in the middle of the night, curled on the couch in the front lounge and watched the world go by.

It was there…on the road at night, that I made the decision to add another weekly column to the Danger Diaries. Something to go with Magic Mondays and How To Tuesdays. Something that I could just put any thoughts in my mind down without restriction and share, AND even more importantly, end each one with a question to you every week – in the spirit of those of you who did the Danger Dame Question of the Day challenge with me on my Facebook Page in the past.

So yes. I’m doing it. The midnight road told me to…

Things I Think About Thursdays.

And what better way to kick it off then a celebration…..

It’s the little kid on the right’s birthday today.
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That little kid grew up to be my hero, and one of my best friends in the world…..Happy Birthday to my Dad!
A man who has the best stories ever, a guy who lights up every room he walks into, and who has always lived his life gambling, hustling and doing it his way! He is my inspiration. He will be an honored guest at the Boston show, if you want to come down and say Happy Birthday to him yourself.

Also, THIS went viral and got over 125,000 hits over the course of 72 hours. I freaked out. You guys are powerful. Thank you for sharing it everywhere.

We had a day off on Tuesday, and we spent it underneath the ring of the moon, all of us circled around a bonfire. By 3am, the conversation moved to the mysteries of life.

A new friend sat with us around the fire. Tucker is 19, just graduated high school, and just moved to the town we were in. He in the midst of the Land of Change.

The bonfire and the moon let our guards down. We spilled our truths, our fears, our dreams. We talked about the things that stop us, the things we want more than anything, and pretty quickly, we realized….. all of us were in the mix, in that space of growth, of new things, of new possibilities.

I pulled out one of my favorite Danger Dame Questions of the Day for everyone to answer…

“If you could send yourself from 10 years ago one sentence of advice and it would actually be delivered….what would that one sentence be?”

Everyone got quiet and stared at the fire as the night insects sang.

One by one, we shared. Simple and powerful – their single sentence answers spoke volumes.

I love questions about human nature. I love what we can learn from each other. I love unearthing stories waiting just below the surface….

What would your answer be?

If you are brave enough to share in the comments below, please do…..

I’m sitting by the fire, in the quiet of the night waiting for your answer.