The 3 Biggest Mistakes I Made While Going After My Dreams

mistakeMistake #1: I Believed That Only People With Money Could Succeed.

And that thinking sidetracked THE FUCK out of me.
I would constantly tell myself…”Well,I’d love to dedicate time for my dreams, but I’m too busy spending 50 hours in a dumb job making the rent.

I got stuck in the soul crushing Loop of Lack.

You know what I’m talking about?

It’s a poison.

Churning that thought in my mind, I nearly slayed my ability to imagine a bigger or better life than the one I was living.
I nearly gave up on trying to make my dream happen because I didn’t see how it could possibly work.
To make dreams happen, I needed precious time – and in order to keep a roof over my head, my time was sucked away by my corporate job.
Cycle.
Repeat.

The REAL Truth: Having a Brain for the “Hustle” Can Be Worth More Than ANYTHING.

I started the hustle small.
I knew I needed to get out of the 8-6 and to do so – as crazy as it seems – I worked harder first doing “side jobs” that I enjoyed and were on my own terms that would eventually replace the office job and be my main source of income.

It looked something like this:

Office Job + Side Hustle = A Few Short Months of Insanity

As I got better and better at side hustle:
Side Hustle – Office Job = A happier me in charge of my own schedule.

Side Hustle + In Charge Of Own Schedule = Time for Dreams

I decided that I was creative enough to come up with something else to make money that wouldn’t take my time up as much and were also things I really enjoyed doing!

I scoured thrift stores, took pictures of my awesome finds and sold them on Ebay.

♦ I approached someone who’s work I really believed in and proposed working for her as an assistant in off hours.  This helped me learn, make money and enjoy what I was doing.

I threw down a blanket on the sidewalk and did tarot readings.  (Hell, I threw down a blanket with Contessa last Summer on a sidewalk in Woodstock and we put together a kickass Tarot Reading/Essential Oils healing center!)

Get creative!
What are things you love to do?
My love for finding vintage gems at thrift stores and my passion for reading tarot cards both helped me with the abundance to get out of my corporate job and start having time to focus on my burlesque!

Yes, it took a little time, but it was so worth it.

Need help?
Brainstorm with a friend about what you’re good at!  Sometimes it’s hard to see ourselves what others see easily!  Feel free to brainstorm in the comments with the Danger Community.

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Mistake #2: I Felt Like I Was Absolutely Alone In My Struggle To “Make It”.

Oh hell no.  HELL NO.

The right friends, meaning your true co-conspirators, want you to succeed and will encourage you and support you to the end.
Pssssst – read Wednesday’s post about this in detail!
They are your Dream Team – with you on your journey, as you are with them on theirs!

My first burlesque gig?
World Famous BOB‘s New Revue.
After months of sitting in the audience, I told her I wanted to do burlesque.

Great!” she said. “I’ve got a slot for April and you’re in it.

“Wait! I’m actually not ready yet, it’s going to take me longer than that. Maybe June?”

She looked me in the eye and said, “You’re going on in April. Get it together. I’m putting your name on the flyer, so be there. See you at the show!”

And she walked away before I could find another excuse.

Co-Conspirators don’t have time for your bullshit excuses of why not.
They throw you in the deep end.
And you will thank them for it some day.

Thanks, *BOB*!

World Famous BOB.  Photo by Amy Touchette.

World Famous BOB. Photo by Amy Touchette.

The REAL Truth: Co-Conspirators are EVERYWHERE if you look! Time for Your Badass Gang!

Easy Breezy Co-Conspirator Test:  Are They or Aren’t They?

You tell your friend something incredible that happened to you for your dream. They freak the fuck out with you with excitement.

Yes?
Co-Conspirator.

No?
Yeah.  Just, no.

Mistake #3: I Told Myself It Was Just Too Hard.

Last night, backstage at a burlesque show, among the glitter, the crystals, the g-strings and the mirrors,  Rosabelle Selavy and I drank lattes with hearts steamed in the foam before going on stage.   I scrawled into my little planner notes for this post, and I asked Rosabelle what the biggest “thought” mistake she made while she was going for her dreams.

“That it was just too hard.  That what I wanted to do was just too hard or too impossible.”

We looked around surrounded by our trunks of costumes, both of us in glitter red lipstick, sitting in our crystalled g-strings, sipping lattes and we laughed.

“It was all about breaking it down into small steps, and then it didn’t seem so hard.  I knew that if I could imagine it, somehow I could do it.”

And I looked over at this lovely showgirl across from me, grateful that she kept going for her dream, grateful that she kept imagining, grateful that she kept doing, and fucking grateful that I was also there…. in that backstage, sipping a latte with her and getting ready to do what we were born to do.

Photo by instagram.com/thecleverguy84

Photo by instagram.com/thecleverguy84

What “thought mistakes” have kept you from doing something, and when you kept pressing forward, they revealed themselves as untruths?  

PLEASE SHARE because someone right now…someone right this moment is believing that thing and you have the power to destroy someone else’s thought obstacle.

I love you guys.

Keep kicking ass.

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How To Get Wildly Inspired.

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With the Empire State Building as our witness,
and the tides singing their East River song against the pier where we sat,
Gala Darling and I sat in the sunshine
brainstorming for our wild magic futures.

Why am I telling you this?

Because the number one reason that people stumble onto Danger Diary, is because they google….
How to keep going for your dreams when all you want to do is give up.

If you are here – either because you googled that phrase, or you are a long time reader back for more…
I’ve got your back.

As someone who nearly gave up my dreams, I know what that’s about.

There is an antidote.

I lust that word.
Antidote.
Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “a medicine or other remedy for counteracting the effects of poison, disease, etc.”.

Not believing in ourselves is a poison.
Other people not believing in us can also be a form of poison.

When I first moved to New York City, I knew 3 people.
I started waitressing a billion hours a week to pay for my rent.
I started befriending my co-workers, because I spent more time around them than anyone else.
I remember one night, the city was hit with 2 feet of snow, work was dead, and we all sat around the bar talking about life.
It was on that night, I revealed my dreams, and what brought me to NYC.
The bartender was about 5 years older than me and while everyone nodded along with her, she said something like this….
“You need a backup plan. I think it’s cute that you’ve got this wild imagination but that stuff doesn’t usually pan out. I don’t mean to burst your bubble or anything…..”
And then she went on and on about how “real life” works.
I started to feel faint.

To this day, I can’t hear the words “I don’t mean to burst your bubble…” without wanting to throw up in my mouth.

I went home absolutely wrecked with a million questions in my mind….
What if she was right?
Is this what “real life” was about?
Was I destined to fail and had bought into some sugary imagination be-who-you-want-to-be bullshit?
What if all the daydreams I had about my future that seemed so real were just that….daydreams?
What if I took myself a billion miles away from my family, my friends and my home to chase an impossible dream?

I never felt more defeated than on my walk home that night in 2 feet of snow.
I was poisoned….
with doubt.

Dreams can be fragile…
easy to kill with words of poison.

And I found the antidote.
My True Co-Conspirators.

As soon as I started hanging around people who were doing their dreams, rather than people naysaying dreams, my world started to take shape.

Two things happened:

1. I would tell them my “crazy” ideas and they would not only cheer me on, but encourage me to dream even further.
They saw the best me, and I saw the best them.

2. When any one of us had a success, we would celebrate because it meant that it was POSSIBLE. It was good news for ALL of us. It encouraged us to keep moving, keep creating, keep imagining and making strides.

I tell you these things because in the last 48 hours – this is what happened in my world:

My dear friend, Gala Darling took the reigns, self-published and released her book “Radical Self Love”.  Her book FLEW to the top (NUMBER 1) on Amazon’s Movers and Shakers list. As the numbers were coming in, we were side by side, squealing with excitement.  It was so inspiring to watch my friend’s book slay the charts and know that her positive message will be in the hands of people all around the world.  Here’s the link to check out her book – it’s a MUST HAVE!

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Then Burke just started his brand new directing job for a major CNN show.
He heard that there was a spot open for a director – and he took a chance, called the producers, showed his work, showed his passion for what he does and nailed his interview. Friends of his also put in their good words for him which helped even more. Through his bravery to boldly go after what he wanted, a dream of his came true.

Here’s Burke directing Revolver with director of photography, Marshall Rose – who will be back at it in late Summer/early Fall with the second and final shooting of our dream film.
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I came home from chilling with Gala and there was a text on my phone from Emilie Autumn, with two brand new songs she wrote for the Asylum Musical.  I sat in the dark, lying on my bed with the phone to my ear and the summer night breeze coming through the windows.  She told me about new twists and turns in the show, new ideas that made me excitably text back “YESYESYES” and songs that left me with goosebumps.  She knows how to create a world so very well – it blows my mind.

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Jaye Bartell played one of the best music gigs I’ve ever seen in my life at a sold out show with Jessica Pratt.  He commanded the audience to pin-drop silence with his smoky voice, in a manner best described as hypnotic.  The next day, my inbox binged with the finished first song of his upcoming album and closing my eyes to listen to it for the billionth time that day, I imagined all the incredible things coming up for him, because it’s impossible NOT to see…. I know, I had watched while he put a spell on everyone in the room he was playing to.

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These are a few of my favorite co-conspirators.

People that move me.
People that inspire me.
People who have my back and I have theirs.
People who are making their worlds happen.
People who say fuck the naysayers, and let’s DO THIS.

They are the antidote to the poison.

Who are people that inspire you?
Who are people that let you know it can be done
and also believe in you?

Tag them in this post on twitter and let’s lift each other up.
Gush about someone and their dream.
Let us know all about it.
Feed it.
And watch the world open for us all.

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How To Make Your Wildest Desires Come True.

Wishful (1)
If I asked you what you wished for in life…..
what would you whisper to me?

I think it all started with the stars.
It was the stars and that childhood poem,
a spell that when uttered by my small self
just learning language
made everything seem
absolutely possible.


Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have this wish I wish tonight.

On Friday in the Red Room, the tarot card of The Fool jumped from the deck.
The Fool is at the beginning of the journey and sees no obstacles.
The Fool knows no boundaries.
The Fool doesn’t even know what “no” means….

much like the 4 year old me,
and the 4 year old you,
who both threw our heads back to take in the night sky
and said
the incantation of the stars
with the poem above
and wished for whatever the fuck we wanted without apology.

Last night,
on a mountain
with the moon being brand new and hiding,
the stars came out over the dark night
and ruled the sky.

Through windows and mirrors reflecting
the stars found their place
into Curiosa Magic House,
Gala Darling and I worked magic together,
woven through words
wishing bigger
creating new vocabulary
new language
to express everything
in our wildest imaginations.

And we walked with the 4 year olds of ourselves,
the ones who weren’t afraid to ask
and as the wind picked up and moved chime songs
and as night turned to morning
our fingers touched flames
wrapped in destiny.
We shall be brave enough to take it.
To say,
“Yes.”

Whisper to me a wish in the comments…
or on Twitter –
Hashtag #WishfulWednesday
Wish in one sentence
and take all the vowels out.

Go get it, you sexy wild things.

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Tarot Reading In A Red Room

Readings in the Red Room
I stayed up all night painting.
My paintbrush dipping and streaking lush deep red against walls a hundred years old.
Powered incense smoking from a cast iron cauldron,
my tarot cards spread out,
three red candles burning in the middle of the empty room.

I painted a new story in that room
built on magic, on fiery passion, on perfumed smoke, on wild creativity and up-all-night thoughts.

This morning, I walked in to see the sunlight reflect on my work,
and somewhere in the early morning my cards spilled,
tipped over and gave a reading of their own….
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I wanted to share it with you.
Because I feel like this is for all of us…..

The Fool spoke of PURE POTENTIAL.
The Fool, that gorgeous chick just emerging from its own egg,
the Fool knows no boundaries.
Obstacles?
What the hell is that?
The Fool is saying…throw yourself wildly into the unknown.
Take a chance.
Lead with your heart.
Do something new.
FUCK the obstacles and fear.
There is no room for that in your head….
only adventure.
Only new.
And like the very best things in life…
some people will turn to you and say…
“You want to do what? That’s crazy! Only a fool would do that…..”

And just smile.
Move forward.
Throw yourself into it with your heart…
and show ’em how it’s done.

Have a great weekend, my Loves!
Go get it.

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The New York Times, Death and a Latte.

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Today started with Mick Jagger singing “Emotional Rescue” at 7:45am.

By 8am, the spot where I parked my car in the wee hours of this morning, was no longer legal. I purposely parked there because the possibility of a $65 ticket will roust me from bed when nothing else will.

By 8:20am, I was sitting outside of one of my favorite coffee shops, sipping a cold latte, sitting with Niney, reading the New York Times.

It was a normal morning….
until I flipped the creased newspaper over to the obituaries.

When I was a 14 year old goth girl in Florida, I would regularly read the obituaries and wrote a full notebook of poems about the people listed in them.

I would read the story their family composed –
a paragraph of a summary of life,
I would imagine them,
curve my pen into the cursive of their names
and write a poem for them.

Every person in the South Florida Tribune obituaries over the course of several months of my 14th year, had their own poem.
I felt like no one should die and not have a poem written for them
and it was my teenage mission to do it.

So now…
this morning…
this caught my eye.
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I wondered what Missy’s story was.
I wondered if the person who received the notice, working at the Times, asked them.
Probably not.
Some things we are not allowed to know.
A quick search on my phone showed that Arline, Joachim, Eddie, Sheri and Larry had printed a notice for Missy every single year in the New York Times since as far back as the year 2000.
I was touched by their dedication.
I closed my eyes to send them good thoughts wherever they are.
They could have been the people sitting next to me,
staring at clouds,
drinking coffee,
I’ll never know.

My mind wandered in the way minds do when the shadows of trees wave at you in the early morning.
I was in that space of just waking up and looking at all of these stories.
I haven’t read obituaries in years.
And here I was.

A friend of mine and I joke that his type of girl is someone who would have their wedding announcement in the New York Times.
I thought about that.
My birth announcement wasn’t in it, my wedding announcement wasn’t in it, and I thought for a moment, if hopefully very far away from now, if my story would be among these others in the Times,
if some 14 year old goth girl in Florida would write a poem about me.

When I was 6, my Grandma and Grandpa lived near a cemetery and we would go for walks there because of the beautiful gardens.
When we walked, I used to say the names on the tombstones out loud
because I wondered how long it was since someone had uttered their name.

I said their names like prayers.

And maybe that’s why I kept reading this morning…maybe that’s why I kept reading about the life stories of the 89 year old writer, the 77 year old longtime New York City sculptor, the 87 year old traveler, the 94 year old architect…..

and then I came upon the Filmmaker.
The shadows stopped waving on the pavement in front of me.
I forgot about them
because of a name.

A name I knew.

A name of a fellow filmmaker and artist in Brooklyn that I knew 10 years ago.
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Without thinking, I brought the Times to my face
maybe to bring his printed name closer
maybe to shield my expression from the world around me in that moment.
Old friend, no paragraph in the world could ever say how you shined.

I thought of ripping up the obituary,
like I did in private when my best friend Jeff passed away in 2006.
As if that would signify to the universe a request for a “do-over”,
shredding the faulty draft,
a request for a re-write of this history.

But it didn’t work then.
It won’t work now.

I watched the world keep moving around me.
They don’t know how to stop in times like these.
They just don’t know.

They just don’t know.

I folded up the paper carefully.
Put it on the counter of the coffee shop.
Thought of his family,
of his children,
of his dear friends,
of a life lived,
and of making the best of our time here always.

Rest In Peace, John.
I will not let the day simply go by….

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My Street Story: I Love Brooklyn. (Picture Post)

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The shadows of trees waved on pavement.
A rose petal from my notebook escaped and skipped down the avenue.
Reflections of bicycles zipped past like ghosts.
A golden sun came closer
to see it all.

We all have a story to tell…
Where do you live?
How do you see it?
What are your reflections in a 30 minute walk?
What do you see?
How do you create your own world?

On a blackboard sign in Brooklyn:
dont-grow-up.jpgAgreed.
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The streets are decorated.  Witty crochet.
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Niney contemplates posting bills.
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Burke Heffner, Urban Cowboy of the East River Lands.
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Don’t hyss at me.
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Niney leads the way.
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My Beloved Water Tower.
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It was painted grey in the wintertime –
just like me.
But before that, for 14 years, it looked like this….
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Guess who Bunny is?
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So many stories.

Now I want to know yours….
take a walk in your neighborhood.
Snap a photo (or several)
Use the hashtag #mystreetstory
on Twitter or Instagram so I can find you.

Talk to me in pictures.

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The Secrets Of Spring You NEED TO KNOW.

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I was born in the Springtime.
And every year,
when the vibrant blossoms bloom
from what was a bare skeleton of a branch,
I am reminded
that I can do the same.

The one thing that I know from a childhood of growing up among magic and myths…
was that we can use the seasons to our advantage –
to boost, to ponder, to imagine, to soar.
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Many generations of baby birds have grown up singing their first songs in my hair.

I’ve talked about this in the Danger Diary before, and it’s a Spring tradition that is worth reminding…..
when I was a little girl, and particularly feeling small….
my Grandma Helen brushed my hair,
took the strands out of the brush,
and set it out for the birds.

Within moments, a bird came by and picked my strands of hair up its mouth.
My Grandma turned to me and said, “Your hair will be home now for baby birds to grow. They will sing their first songs nestled in strands of your hair.”

And my life suddenly seemed magical….
I had a secret
a pact with the birds and their songs.

Two days ago, Burke and I watched a bird pull a scrap of paper garbage off the street and flew away with it for its nest….and I was reminded to tell you this story again. I just cleaned out my brush and on my fire escape – is an offering to them.

And with all the buds and blossoms
with all the vibrance…
I call on YOUR spirit of blossoming…..

What is something that you want to bloom in your life, that is such a vibrant and honest part of you?

I will say that things have become very clear to me recently…
and I know what I want
I know what I want to create and inspire….

And I am so proud to announce my own wild blooms in the form of learning, growing and making it happen.

It is called
The Underground.

It is for everyone who has dreamed of being a part of a kickass gang, a secret club, a hive of inspiration.
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 This is for those of you who sometimes feel like a piece is missing to life….that you are *almost* there, but need a push!
 This is for those of you who want to uncover that rich passionate side of yourselves. I’m talking about that sensual wildness in you, brimming with ideas, imagination and drive.
 This is for those of you who KNOW there is something more out there in life….and feel ready to seek it out.

Let’s find it together as our powerful badass gang meets UNDERGROUND weekly!

It is a 4-week course in New York City starting Thursday, June 11th.

AND if you aren’t in New York City – fear NOT….it is launching as a digital class on Sunday, June 14th!

If you are called to do this work, let’s make it happen!  I’m offering payment plans so all can afford.  I want us to MOVE FORWARD and world dominate together.

My Springtime wish is that we all learn to soar.
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Come with me.

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Danger Diary May 2015 Tarot Horoscopes

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My beautiful friend, Teya, gifted me with this beautiful 100 year old fortune telling cup for my birthday, and I wanted to share its beauty with you.
It’s officially Springtime in NYC and so much is blossoming here – I will be announcing a brand new series of classes….stay tuned for all the details on Friday!
But until then, my Loves, here is your Tarot Horoscopes – I worked very hard on them – so if you love them – please SHARE and RT.
And if you love tarot and all things magic, check out The Parlour on Saturday!
Enjoy your reading….
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Taurus – April 20 – May 20:  The Lovers
Happy Birthday, my Fellow Taurus LOVERS!  I just celebrated my birthday on the 29th, but you know how us wild Taurus girls are – that party lasts for at least a solid month.  Bring IT!  So – interesting story, I was shuffling the deck for our card and The Lovers flew out of the deck and onto the couch where I was sitting.  I thought it was just a case of me not holding the cards tightly enough when I was shuffling, so I put The Lovers back in and proceeded to shuffle for another 10 minutes. I picked out our card, and guess what…..  The Lovers.

As Taurus people, we are ruled by Venus and we are all about love and sensuality.  Get ready to have a gorgeous month of la-la-love.  I’m talking romantic love like Bonnie and Clyde.  I’m talking friend love like Thelma and Louise.  I’m talking about you feeling that passionate vibe about your entire life like spring is blooming full swing.  Ride this gorgeous love emotion to bring the best of everything to you.  There’s going to be something absolutely irresistible about you this month.  You’re going to rock a spell like none other and attract the right loves (relationship and friendship) into your life.

Open your heart and let all the beauty come inside.

Question:  Taurus…I ask you a simple and powerful question this week…..What do you desire?

the-fool.jpgGemini – May 21 – June 20: The Fool

Gemini, remember when you were little and people asked you what you wanted to do, and you very clearly said with total and complete determination: “Astronaut.” “Veterinarian.” “President.”   You never hear a little kid say,  “Well, you know I really wanted to be an astronaut, but the space program is kind of shit right now, so I guess I’m not doing that after all,” or,  “I really wanted to be a vet, but man, how in the hell am I going to afford school and whatnot?”

I love The Fool card because it is you at your PURE POTENTIAL.  It is you saying fuck it to the obstacles, it is you not giving a damn about whatever is in your way and throwing yourself into it all – come what may.  I have tremendous respect for the Fool card and I love when it comes up in my readings.  Sometimes weighing the obstacles and thinking about the obstacles can not only create more obstacles but it can kill dreams.  Throw yourself into it and have the wild adventure that you deserve, Brave One.

Question:  If you had no idea what “obstacles” even were….what would you dare yourself to do?  

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Cancer – June 21 – July 22:  Daughter of Pentacles
Oh, Cancer Darling…The Daughter of Pentacles always represents a new start, new dreams, new prosperity.  The Daughter of Pentacles is my favorite artwork of the entire Wild Unknown deck and she also delivers such a juicy message!

Looking to grow abundance in your life?  Looking to draw in the perfect circumstances and perfect opportunities for yourself?  The Daughter of Pentacles brings these new things to you.  This month you shall find new inspiration, passion, and enthusiasm in a new project or experience.  Make a plan, stay focused and make it happen!

Question:  What is something that you have been dreaming of?  Are you ready for some new beginnings to come in that will bring abundance into your life?  You know all of those things that have been churning as possibilities….?  Go get them. 

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Leo – July 23 – August 22:  8 of Pentacles
Oh, Leo!  When I see this little spider come up in the cards – it always makes me smile.  I was raised on a book called “Be Kind To Spiders” and “Charlotte’s Web”…so these little friends are always seen as good luck to me.  And on the card of the 8 of Pentacles….this is such good luck for you.  The 8 of Pentacles says that you are skilled and learning more every day.   I always think of this card as the “artist’s card” of the deck….as whatever our own “art” is – this month is about crafting it further.  This can happen through taking classes, learning through an internship or apprenticeship, or it can be through really furthering your skills with practice.  All of this hard work and discipline on your end will bring about a very successful venture in something that is the “art” of your heart.

Question: Dear Leo, what do you feel skilled in doing?  What are you drawn to learning or working on?  It’s that perfect time to take a class and increase your knowledge and your skill this month.  

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Virgo – August 23 – September 22: 6 of Wands

Virgo, I was very excited to pick this card for you this month, and I love how this deck illustrates the meaning behind this card.  Here you see a bunch of wands (bramble) and the butterfly soaring high above it.  I’ve talked about this story before – but it’s an important one, and Virgo – one that you need to hear.

See that butterfly?  Well, we know that previously, that butterfly was once a caterpillar and then it cocooned and turned to mush and then turned into a butterfly.  But maybe what you don’t know, that I didn’t know before – is that that butterfly has to fight its way out of its own cocoon.  It has to beat its wings over and over and over to get its own wings strong enough to fly. Then one day, the butterfly is strong enough to break through the cocoon with its own wings and it soars to the sky.  Transformed and triumphant.

THAT is this card.

This is about getting the credit you deserve and feeling that sense of triumph!  It is also a very public thing (as in, others will take notice).  From being in those sticks on the ground and then in that cocoon – it’s time for you to soar with success.

Question: Dear Virgo, what are things you are proud of?  Time to make a list and realize all the things you’ve done and accomplished.  Seeing that will only encourage you to draw more of that success to you.  Something is brewing! 

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Libra – September 23 – October 22:  The Star
Libra – when was the last time that you went out, looked into the dark sky, saw one particular star and just made a wish out into the night?

That hope and wishing is what this month is all about!  Recently, I was a part of a gathering that I am sworn to secrecy over, but I can reveal that the precious hours that this event took place, I had renewed hope in my own juicy future and I am still at this moment, feeling incredibly inspired and trembling with the excitement of life itself.  That is what this card is.

Great power lies in opening your heart and letting your true unapologetic self out.

You know the old adage, “Dare to Dream”?  This month you are a fucking DARE DEVIL, Libra….as your motivation, inspiration and your harmony in knowing the world can be yours with a wave of your hand and ACTION….will be rocking the next 30 days.

Question:  Libra Love, what do you dream of when you let yourself?  Write down three things that give you “spark” to think of them…..and then make a wish.

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Scorpio – October 23 – November 21:  The World
There are moments, dear Scorpio, like in the early hours of the morning this past Saturday as I danced on top of a couch, watching the sun come up over this gorgeous city I live in, where I feel truly alive, and like everything has truly come together.  The World is this perfect feeling, like you’ve got that WHOLE WORLD in the palm of your hands this month.

This is the final card of the major arcana in tarot and it is completion – it is those dreams coming true, it is realizing beauty around you and fully experiencing it, it is taking every single juicy moment in life and savoring it.

Imagine this:  I come to you with one single strawberry to feed you with.  Now some people might be disappointed with just one strawberry.  But I put this strawberry in your mouth and invite you to bite down on it ONCE.  I then have you hold that strawberry in your mouth without biting.  You savor the taste, the flavor, the texture and moments later, I let you finally bite down and devour it.   That single strawberry that might have been normally thrown back without thought, is now a full worldly, gorgeous experience.  As you are living these days of May…focus on the pleasures, the successes, the things coming together….and relish as more comes to you and dreams unfold.

Question: Scorpio, what is something right now, at this very moment, that you are truly savoring in your life?  What can you do in the next 24 hours that will make your day that much more juicy and fruitful?  The World is also about sharing – so drag someone else into this gorgeousness.  GO.

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Sagittarius – November 22 – December 21: The Chariot
Sagittarius – when this card flips itself over…the very first message this card says to me is:  “Time to take the reigns.”  MORE importantly than that, this card says, you WILL be successful, and it’s time to push your determination level to do so.  Babe, let’s talk about laser focus, let’s talk about slaying all distractions and GETTING IT, let’s talk about putting your eyes on that damn prize and claiming that motherfucker.

You feeling good about this?  Because you should.  Time to amp up that self confidence and be the leader that you know you can be.  Have faith in yourself and watch the world open to you.

Question: Think about it…..when is the last time you felt like a “leader”?  When is the last time you’ve taken charge?  Think about that moment, and know that you have it in you.  What goal are you ready to get?  This is the perfect time to make this happen for you.  You’ve got this.

2-of-wands.jpgCapricorn – December 22 – January 19: Two of Wands.

Capricorn, the Two of Wands ALWAYS signifies getting ready to step outside of your own box and grow outward and upward.  It is embroiled with adventure, with enthusiasm and with passion.  In the traditional Rider-Waite deck, a man stands surveying the land with the “world” in his hands.  That’s the vibe of this card, getting that courage up to make your move for world domination.  You can start to see your plan forming, and you know what you need to do.

Before I started doing burlesque, I would go to shows, watch, see what was out there, and also figure out what my own “thing” was that I wanted to perform and put out there.  I really had a desire to sing and do burlesque at the same time, and I was setting the wheels in motion to make that happen.  When I approached the burlesque troupe, Ixion, who performed with a live band, I lied and said that I was used to singing and dancing – and pushed myself out of my comfort zone to learn quickly and make that dream happen.   It worked!  When you make the 2 of wands work for you – doors of the world open!

Question:  What is something that you want in life that will push you out of your comfort zone to get it?  Make a list of 3 things that you would do if you could not fail and go for it with this powerful energy of the 2 of wands!

7-of-pentacles.jpgAquarius – January 20 – February 18: Seven of Pentacles
My Darling Aquarius, we now find ourselves in the 5th month of this new year, and the cards are asking you to take a pause for a moment, to stop and look around and to see where you are right now.  A few months ago, I was listening to the radio and two scientists were discussing how when a rocket leaves for the moon, it does so with only a 20% accuracy rate.  That means, that the astronauts have to keep checking back in to make sure they stay on course to get to the moon.  Now, of course they are going to make their target, but the only way that they do so is by doing a “check-in”.  This card is that version of a “check-in” for you!

This is a great time to see what’s going on, give yourself a pat on the back for your accomplishments, and make sure that you are feeling good about how you are moving forward.  Are there adjustments to be made?  Are you feeling on top of your game?  No matter what your answers are – checking in is going to give you that boost that you needed!

Question: Take a look at what’s happening in your world, have you seen some great results at what you’ve been doing thus far?  Look at everything….is it time for a direction change?  A course adjustment?  Or are you feeling on track?  This “check in” is going to help you grow even faster and further this year!

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Pisces – February 19 – March 20:  The Empress.
Oh, Pisces!  The Empress is calling you to take off your shoes, put your bare feet on the ground, and run and dance and create with all the wildness inside of you!  Whenever the Empress comes up in a reading, I always take note…..she is the “mother goddess” of the tarot deck – and she is sensual, caring, creative and wild.  When she appears, she is reaching out her hand to you – to follow in her footsteps!  So get ready to live that wild and nurturing side of you….

Right now in New York City, the past few gorgeous days have been absolutely lovely – sunny, warm and most importantly, the winter coats have been shed!  There’s the spark of newness, of excitement, of abundance, of life, of beauty and creativity……that “Spring Fever” is what I imagine the spirit of the Empress to be.  Since she’s come up in your reading, this month is all about really getting in touch with those things that make you feel “on fire”.  Your creativity and your sensuality are your SUPER POWERS this month.  There is also that mothering side that will come out that makes others feel at ease around you and taken care of.

Relish every month of this gorgeous month!

Question: Your prescription for this month is a healthy dose of creativity and sensuality!  What creative projects are aspirations in your life truly make you feel alive?  WORK IT and see how good you feel.  There is power in all you create this month.

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Aries – March 21 – April 19 : 3 of Cups
Dearest Aries…
I call them “Train Tracks.”
As in…. “I would lay down on train tracks for you.”

The friends that are Train Tracks for me, are the ones that the energy of this card represents. Perfect camaraderie. This is about having both ease and sense of each other’s souls. I’m talking about really being seen by another person, and they in turn see you.

This is your “birds of a feather” crew, your very own tribe of awesome, the family that you called in.   In a similar vein of the Lovers card, but referring to friends, this month is all about bringing in those tried and true friends for some intense celebrating, life loving, life living and rocking this out together.
You gain strength to do the things you need to do in life through these moments of celebration and friendship.

Question: Who are those people that make you feel truly alive? This is the month to gather them together and celebrate as much as possible. Aries, I want you to really look at your current friend crew – who makes you feel alive and happy after you hang out together? Who makes you feel drained? Really look at this – as you are ready to embark on a powerful year for you. Time to gather your solid co-conspirators.

If you loved the tarot horoscope, please Re-Tweet and Share. It’s so appreciated and it keeps me going!

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Let’s Get This Party Started: Unique Birthday Rituals!

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It is after midnight in New York City,
the Empire State Building is pure white like a sparkling diamond
and it is my BIRTHDAY!
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What a fantastic year of adventure it has been…
thank you for coming along this wild ride with me.

I’ve got two unique birthday rituals that I made up and that I love to do every year and I wanted to share them with you.

1. The Three Roses.

Every year, I buy myself three gorgeous full red roses on the day before my birthday.

This year, I took the petals of the first rose and put half of them in a gorgeous candlelit bath for myself, and the other half of the petals are strewn all over my bed, ready for me to sleep in.

Waking up in rose petals for your birthday? DELICIOUS.

The second rose I put in a beautiful vase that I can look at during my day.

And the third rose I hand to a stranger on the street.

With the Three Roses Ritual, I can honor myself for another gorgeous year of adventure in this body of mine.  I celebrate my spirit and this wild life in the city I love the best.  AND I get to pass along that joy of the roses to someone else – surprising someone on the street is going to make my day!

2.  Making A Wish On The Empire State Building.

Every night at 2am, the Empire State Building flickers off.

One night the idea struck me on my birthday to climb up to my roof and make a list of wishes….

and then face towards the Empire State Building

make my wishes and then “blow” the building out.

It is the most beautiful candle on the cake of this gorgeous city that I adore.

Want to wish with me?  Just play this:

As I write this, I have 20 minutes to get out on the roof before I blow the Empire State Building out tonight to start my birthday off right.

What rituals do you do for your birthday?
Share in the comments!

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Bruce Jenner, Transgender and Why This Relates To All of Us

bruce-jenner-interview-i-am-a-womanThe most courageous thing that we can do, is be our true selves.

After last night’s incredibly moving interview with Bruce Jenner, one thing she said really hit home for me:

“We still identify as female…and that’s very hard for Bruce Jenner to say….and because why? I don’t want to disappoint people.”

Bruce Jenner held to this secret for 65 years to not disappoint others.

No matter who you are,

no matter what your current situation in life is,

let me ask you this…..

Have you ever denied and shut down your true self because you didn’t want to disappoint others?

I have.

And what Bruce said is the common thread of so many of our journeys in life.

Bruce Jenner has the bravery and honesty to speak out, to boldly be herself, and in doing so, will help others around the world who struggle to be themselves on many different levels.

Confession:  I have and have always had tremendous shame around my sensuality.

I don’t know where it comes from, or why….but for years, I would push my sensual side down, and bury it within me, unexpressed, because I felt like me being my true sensual self would cause people to judge me harshly, think bad thoughts about me, and shun me.

So I hid and shoved it down and did the things I was supposed to do – until that one day the rottwelier attacked me in the face and it made me realize I was living my life for the approval of others and not for myself.

And a year after that, I stood on the stage of the original Slipper Room, in sparkles, 1940s vintage leopard print, black fringe and slowly pulled everything off to the music.  For one of the first times in my life, I felt like I revealed the true me for the 3 minutes the song played.
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Because life is too fucking short to hide too long
and hiding our true selves is too painful.

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Now my own personal story is NOTHING compared to what courage and bravery Bruce Jenner and our transgender friends have to go through.

But let’s think on this….let’s think about the example that Bruce put out there to the world….

fuck shame.

Let’s be kind, gentle and understanding to each other.

In all our own ways, we currently hide, or have hidden, from what we felt like would disappoint others about our true selves.

It’s time to come out…

and shine.

It is our responsibility to do this.  It is our responsibility to stand boldly in all that we are….

UNAPOLOGETICALLY

so others will know they are not alone, so others will have the courage, too.

Courage is contagious.

Thank you, Bruce Jenner, for making a difference with your voice and your example.

Thank you TO ALL who fight to be their true selves.

This burlesque stripper stands with you in pride.

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