Bruce Jenner, Transgender and Why This Relates To All of Us

bruce-jenner-interview-i-am-a-womanThe most courageous thing that we can do, is be our true selves.

After last night’s incredibly moving interview with Bruce Jenner, one thing she said really hit home for me:

“We still identify as female…and that’s very hard for Bruce Jenner to say….and because why? I don’t want to disappoint people.”

Bruce Jenner held to this secret for 65 years to not disappoint others.

No matter who you are,

no matter what your current situation in life is,

let me ask you this…..

Have you ever denied and shut down your true self because you didn’t want to disappoint others?

I have.

And what Bruce said is the common thread of so many of our journeys in life.

Bruce Jenner has the bravery and honesty to speak out, to boldly be herself, and in doing so, will help others around the world who struggle to be themselves on many different levels.

Confession:  I have and have always had tremendous shame around my sensuality.

I don’t know where it comes from, or why….but for years, I would push my sensual side down, and bury it within me, unexpressed, because I felt like me being my true sensual self would cause people to judge me harshly, think bad thoughts about me, and shun me.

So I hid and shoved it down and did the things I was supposed to do – until that one day the rottwelier attacked me in the face and it made me realize I was living my life for the approval of others and not for myself.

And a year after that, I stood on the stage of the original Slipper Room, in sparkles, 1940s vintage leopard print, black fringe and slowly pulled everything off to the music.  For one of the first times in my life, I felt like I revealed the true me for the 3 minutes the song played.

Because life is too fucking short to hide too long
and hiding our true selves is too painful.


Now my own personal story is NOTHING compared to what courage and bravery Bruce Jenner and our transgender friends have to go through.

But let’s think on this….let’s think about the example that Bruce put out there to the world….

fuck shame.

Let’s be kind, gentle and understanding to each other.

In all our own ways, we currently hide, or have hidden, from what we felt like would disappoint others about our true selves.

It’s time to come out…

and shine.

It is our responsibility to do this.  It is our responsibility to stand boldly in all that we are….


so others will know they are not alone, so others will have the courage, too.

Courage is contagious.

Thank you, Bruce Jenner, for making a difference with your voice and your example.

Thank you TO ALL who fight to be their true selves.

This burlesque stripper stands with you in pride.

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My House Burned To the Ground 4 Years Ago: 3 Tips To Get Through Tough Times.

Our Enchanted Cottage on our Wedding Day:
Picture 66

Our Cottage 4 years ago today:
Picture 67

My soul felt like the above picture for months.
I was just as destroyed on the inside
as my home was.

Here are 3 things which had to happen for us to make it through.
And they might help you when you’re going through hard times:

1.  A Clean Slate.

In any situation, a break-up, the loss of a job or friendship, and especially in the loss of our home – it’s hard to move on while staring at the remains of what used to be.

You can’t move forward if you’re only looking behind you.

When something bad has happened, allow yourself to mourn for a little while, but give yourself a deadline day to make a clean slate and to start over again.


Real Life Story

For two months after the fire, our house was a pile of black ash with one mint green wall standing.

Every day, I would drive there and sit in the burned frame of my bed and look out of the window that remained….looking out that same window I had looked out of for years of my life.
Then it was the same thing, over and over, I would dig and dig in the rubble trying to find anything.
I was half crazy.

Picture 68

The last photo of me in my home.  It was leveled to the ground 12 hours later by a bulldozer.

The day the bulldozer came to level what remained,
I felt like I was going to die.
My life was 7 dumpsters of wreckage
to be carted away.
Ashes of childhood stuffed animals,
my Grandma’s jewelry and magic things,
years of personal journals and books.

But the next day I came back.
The ash and charred rubble was gone.
There was new earth, an open field, a clean slate.
I could finally see more than burned remains,
I could see more than what was,
I could see the potential for what could be,
and I felt like there was a glimmer of hope on that land for the first time since the fire.

There is no place for a bright future when you are standing knee deep in the ashes of your past.

2.  Get Active In Your Future.

Focus on new and good things. Rather than waiting, make your future.
Take action.
What do you want to do now?
Who do you want to be?
See a bright future and head towards it – one step at a time.


Real Life Story

Burke dealt with the loss of the house by buying a can of PlayDoh and sculpting his ideas for what the new home could be. He was just as destroyed as I was over the fire. He was afraid if he sunk too deep in the darkness and ashes, he wouldn’t be able to climb out, like quicksand. He knew he had to keep moving.

As he formed a new home in PlayDoh, it occupied his mind, charged his creativity and kept him afloat.
Burke’s PlayDoh House that he molded right after the fire:

Burke's playdoh house.

The Finished House:
Picture 70

3. Get Out There in the World.

Immerse yourself in the world, find positive people, and interact.
Don’t isolate yourself.
Don’t just invite a friend over to mourn what has passed.
Force yourself to hang out with people – go dancing, go to a party, go OUT, take class, volunteer – even when you don’t feel like it. Chances are, once you get there, you’ll be grateful you did. Being around others, listening to others, sharing common interests, and discovering new things will help get your mind off past sadness.

Real Life Story

A handful of days after our house burned to the ground there was a big celebration for dear friends of ours. We didn’t want to let them down by not showing up, and at the same time, we didn’t want to bring the party down by being there. It wasn’t easy, but we went. The first few minutes were the hardest – I wanted to run away. But after a moment, seeing good friends and being surrounded by a positive social environment helped me so much. The day was a positive distraction from my sadness and the good effects of the day were lasting.

Here’s a picture of us at that event – sticking together and finding hope in each other and our friends.
Picture 71

I will never forget how much you all of you on this online community did for us. Your support, letters and love kept us going more than you’ll ever know.

If you’re going through a hard time out there – remember you’re not alone and there is hope.
Don’t give up.
Better days will be headed your way.
Trust me on this one.
I’ve been down many a crooked road and I know this to be true.

Today at 5:45pm, Burke and I will be holding hands on the rock in our backyard, just like we do every year to send good thoughts back to our old selves in 2011 who were dealing with a really hard time.

Here’s the post where I talk about the special ritual we do every year since the fire.
I put my heart into writing it and I know it can help you, too.

Sending out my love to all of you –
and if you know someone that might need this today,
please share.

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How To Not Die Of Boredom: 3 Solid Tips!

adventureRight now, before you do anything else…..
check the last 5 statuses you’ve put out to the world on Facebook or Twitter.

What do you see?

Now tell me…if you didn’t know you….would you want to hang out with you based on what you’re putting out there?

Would you think you were an exciting or adventurous person?
Or would you think you were angry or bored?

Every day can be a wild adventure if we want to see it that way.

Like that one time that Contessa and I were super depressed, so we threw on matching cheerleading outfits and ended up owning NYC….


Here’s 3 Easy Tips how to turn things around:

1. Seek Out The Story.
You know that boring ass question everybody asks in the beginning of a conversation:

“So….How have you been?”

Your answer doesn’t need to be boring.
Live your life so you can answer that with something that will make them turn their heads or lift their eyebrows.

How do you do that?

I mean….I trespass abandoned places and pick up hitchhikers going to festivals – but you don’t have to get that crazy….


Untitled design (2)

2.  Dare Yourself To Do Something Out Of the Ordinary.
It’s so easy to get caught up in a routine.
It’s so easy to just go out into dinner and then just come home and think of that as a night out.

Do something weird, throw something crazy in the mix, put yourself out there and figure out something a little bit more interactive or fun to do.

TIP:  On tour with Emilie or when Burke and I were living out of a van for a month, no matter how big or small the city we went to was, we’d always hit the independently owned coffeehouses. They almost always have a bulletin board up with shows going on, open mic nights, poetry slams, spelling bees, stitch and bitch circles, meet-ups. If we had a day off, we’d go to one of those posted flyer event things and we had an adventure EVERY TIME.

DARE: Go to your local coffeehouse or bookstore, check out the bulletin boards for events and happenings….go to one.


That time I lived in a van for a month and went on crazy adventures.

3.  A True Adventure Isn’t Over Until It Ends Positively.

A series of events that end negatively are called disasters.
A series of events that end positively are called ADVENTURES.


During a NYC blizzard that had completely covered my car to look like a snow mobile, I spent about an hour digging my car out to get to a gig.

I was over it. My coat was too thin, my car wasn’t working well, and I was about to risk my life to get to a gig that was going to have four people show up. Half way there, I realized in all the craziness of leaving, I didn’t have my music with me and then had to play Burlesque Roulette by dancing to a song I never heard of before.

All of the above spells disaster.

But fuck that, I didn’t want a disaster. I wanted an adventure.

That song that the DJ put on that I didn’t know?
Nina Simone’s “Do I Move You” – which I then incorporated into doing a number to which I still do to this day.

And – the night ended with me and another burlesque girl getting into a snowball fight on the street with some random strangers. We won.

Then we drove home back to Brooklyn together, sliding all over the place on the road and singing along to cheesy Christmas songs and throwing glitter all over.

Now that was an adventure.

Just by changing my attitude about the night….I rode out the disaster phase of the evening into some awesome adventures!

This calls for my favorite Gizmo picture when we passed out on a hotel hallway together.  Must have been that whole eating after midnight thing….


What do you do to escape boredom and have a wild adventure of a life?

Tell me in the comments – and SHARE PICTURES.  I want to see.

Happy Monday!  If you enjoyed this post, please pass it on.  xoxox

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The Epidemic of Domestic Violence: What To Do and How To Create A Safety Plan.

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 6.02.37 AMToday is Youth Homelessness Matters Day…and I’m so very proud to have guest blogger, Sarah from the We See Magic blog, return to the Danger Diary to share her tips and experience as a former homeless teen.

Using knowledge and inner courage, we can take our power back, and also help others.
Sarah has done both.
If you know someone who is in trouble or in an unsafe situation, there are options.

Please SHARE this for people you think might need it – as we all fight together.
Welcome back, Sarah!

Sarah: This time last year I shared my experience in “17 and Homeless” , to highlight the importance of Youth Homelessness Matters Day.

I was blown away by how many of you commented with messages of love and support, and shocked by how many of you shared a similar story.

The fact is, the leading contributor to homelessness is domestic violence.
Secrecy, threats and silence means abuse often goes unreported. Often, when we do disclose, we are not believed. When this happens, sometimes suicide and homelessness can feel like our only option.

We are not strangers to you. We are your neighbors, your friends, your tribe – and you are not powerless in making a change.

The problem doesn’t just lie in our homes,
it lies in our reaction.
People experiencing abuse are often threatened, scared or feel extreme guilt over what is happening to them.
‘Telling’ somebody can be the most difficult thing to do…
but it is also the first opportunity to make change.

The most important things you can do to help somebody to reclaim their life and to empower them to take the first steps towards safety are:

believe in them

be there to support them.
But how?

First you need to know what domestic violence looks like, and understand how to help somebody (including yourself), if you feel like you or somebody you know may be feeling unsafe at home.

You are never alone. You are never stuck. There is always a new world waiting. You deserve to feel safe. It is never your fault.

This is how you can make a change.


What Is Domestic Violence?

1800RESPECT says:  Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviour shown in an intimate relationship over time, that puts one person in a position of power over another.

To me, domestic violence is about a power play, it may act as emotional abuse (name calling, put downs, disrespectful treatment), isolation (from your family, community or even stalking your phone or facebook accounts), physical attacks (choking, beating), acts of sexual violence, stalking or monitoring, psychological abuse or gaslighting (denying abusive behaviour ever occurred or blaming the person being abused for being mentally unwell), financial abuse, preventing somebody from holding a faith or spirituality (or forcing them into one), threatening harm to loved ones (including pets or children), or legal abuse (threatening to exploit, intimidate or disempower).

The short version is:

If you feel ongoingly unsafe at home, it is not okay. You do not have to stay stuck in that situation. You do not deserve it. It is not your fault. It is abuse, and you, are a survivor.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Somebody Experiencing Domestic Violence

DO – believe them. Take their fears seriously. Always. You may be the only person they have trusted enough to tell.

DO – research, find out what you can about support services in your area, work out who can help support both the person experiencing domestic violence, and you as a support person. You are not alone.

DO – help them to create a safety plan (more tips on that later)

DON’T – victim blame. Violence is never okay. Never blame the victim or minimize the abuser’s responsibility for the abuse.

DON’T – rush the process. It can be tempting to try to pull them out, but remember that there are often a lot of complicated feelings around abuse. Abusers love power play, and often, people experiencing domestic violence still love their abusive partner/parent, or have other reasons to stay. Don’t try to rush their process or feel as though you know how to help them. Instead, listen to what they want and need from you.

DON’T – feel as though you are alone. Try as much as possible to help your friend to connect with other support services, go with them and hold their hand through the process if you need to.

DON’T – feel guilty if something happens. You are not responsible. All you can do is be there.

One of the most powerful things anybody can do whether they are feeling unsafe at home, or know somebody is, is knowing that they are prepared to leave if they need to.


How to Make a Safety Plan

(If you are helping somebody to create a safety plan, start by listening. The person experiencing abuse is the expert on her/his situation. Try to understand the risks, and what s/he already does to increase safety. Keep in mind that there may be multiple perpetrators or people who will support his/her abuser. Remember that it is not your job to judge or make decisions. Leaving is not always a safe option. Trust and empower.)

Part 1 – Making ‘Home’ Safe

 Make a list of places you can go if you need to get out.

  Know your house and where you can go if you feel unsafe. It could be by locking the bathroom door, or knowing there is a low window in your bedroom.

  Keep a list of support numbers, including trusted friends and family, in your wallet.

  Create a code with a trusted friend or family member, so that if anything happens you can easily access help fast. An example could be ‘I’m going to be running 11 minutes late tomorrow’ is code for ‘please come pick me up’ or ‘22’ is code for ‘call the police’. Make it something you can type quickly.

  Have your own prepaid mobile so you can stay in touch with people.
Create an escape plan.

  Figure out your coping mechanism. It could be reading, watching movies, doing yoga, walking the dog – know what it is and practice it on the daily. You deserve it.

Part 2 – Creating a Network

  You are not alone. Write a list of people you can trust and their phone numbers and emails. Include your doctor, counsellor, friends/family, local shelters, crisis support lines and anybody you feel you can talk to.

  Reach out to them. Ask them to be a part of your network. Let them know where you’re at and what you need from them. Trust yourself.

Part 3 – The Escape Plan

  Make a list of places you could go if you needed to. It could be a safe house, a shelter, a friend or a cheap hotel.

  Have a list of support numbers. Post your area and crisis support number in the comments and help other people connect. Include numbers of local taxi’s and police stations.

  Have a bus ticket, spare change, and some cash ready to go. Keep it with you at all times.

Pack a backpack with essentials, a change of clothes, spare medication scripts if you need any, important memories, your birth certificate/passport/important paperwork and ID, your phone charger, some muesli bars, the bare essentials that you absolutely can’t be without. Ask someone you trust to keep the bag for you in case you need it, or, if you have access to a gym/school/uni/work locker, consider keeping it there.

Useful Contacts

In Australia:

1800RESPECT – call 1800 737 732 or talk to someone online at

In America:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline – call 1800 799 7233 or visit

PLEASE add your own country and support hotline in the comments!

Please share this for people who might need it.  We can all make a change together.



How Would You Respond?

I am a curious thing.

If you have spent any time with me in real life, or if you’ve ever taken a class with me… then you know, that asking questions is MY JAM.

And I’m not talking about what you think about the weather questions.

I like to dig.

When the New York Times covered an article about the 36 Questions To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You… I breezed through them and thought they were interesting, but they needed more imagination.

I like story questions, hypothetical questions.
I think they disarm the person I’m asking, and the person tends to answer more honestly than if I just delivered a straight question.

On my Facebook page, I used to ask a Danger Diary question of the week, and it was one of the most popular regular posts that I ever did.

And you answered honestly.
And I got to know more about you.
And maybe you got to know a little bit more about you, too.

Burke is working on a show, and he gave me 15 personal questions to answer so he could develop a customized photoshoot for me based on my answers.

I realized that their were questions he asked that seemed like I had a “standard” answer to, but when I really looked at them, I realized over time, my answers had changed.  And I liked the reasons why.

I’m going to try a new feature here on Mondays called Danger Diary Question of the Week.

We can start off the week, with an intriguing trigger to the story of you.

Use the hashtag #dangerdiaryquestion on Twitter so I can find your answers, or you can answer below……


My answer?
I’d live among the ghosts of the famed Chelsea Hotel.
I’d be in good company.
On the legendary hallway walls, I’d scrawl my diary and my stories and old spells from my Grandma Helen.
I’d sleep in the pyramid on the very top of the Chelsea and on summer nights, I’d drag silks and pillows to the observation deck of the Empire State Building 11 blocks away and sleep under the stars watching the quiet, lit city below.

Now it’s Your Turn.
Where would you live?

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How To Get Your Life Back On Track….And Be The Hero Of the Story.

Choose-Your-Own-Adventure.jpgBehold!  Everything you ever needed to know about life explained by these Choose Your Own Adventure books.
(What in the tripped out cartoon hell is going on in this cover?)
Ah, the gems hidden in these pages.
If you aren’t familiar with them, this is what happens….

The book starts and gives you a little bit of story, and then it gives you options, for instance “If you decide to use the key to open the secret door, turn to page 15″ or “If you choose to ignore the key and pick up the magic wand instead, turn to page 42.”

The book keeps giving you choices and decisions to make just like life.
It offers 40 possible different endings.
There’s high stakes in these books, half of the endings have you dying by being swallowed by dragons, sea monsters or aliens, and then a few of the endings have you throwing your body into a huge room of rare gold coins and jewels pillaged by pirates that now all belong to you.

I wanted what the pirates had.

So rather than take a chance of being charbroiled by a dragon, by some bad decision making, I did what the pirates would want me to do…..

I cheated.

I would flip through the book and find the last page of each of the 40 endings and decide which ending I wanted the best.

I then would go backwards from ending to beginning to see the right choices that I was supposed to make to get to the ending I wanted best.

This is how I live my life now.

Want to do this with me?

One – you’ve got to know what one of your endings is.  And by that I mean, what is one of your ultimate fantasies or goals?  What is one “destination” of where you want to be?

For instance, eight years ago, one of my goals was to do burlesque and make a living at it.

I imagined my ultimate fantasy….I imagined touring all over the world, I imagined being able to perform almost every night.

Two – then you take the story backwards….

how would I get from my ultimate fantasy of burlesque to where I was 8 years ago?

It would go something like this…..

Tour the world.

Get on television doing burlesque.

Get a regular gig in NYC, and find my burlesque home.

Teach Burlesque.

Get to know the burlesque community and producers, and get corporate gigs and private parties.

Reach out to people and get burlesque gigs in NYC.

“Kitten” (pick up performers’ costumes off the stages) to get practice on stage.

Come up with routines.

Take a Burlesque Class.

By knowing what your wildest dream is….you have a destination.

Go backwards to see the little places you have to hit along the way to get to that goal.

Then it makes your journey more clear and less ambiguous.

Now you’ve got your steps outlined and you can pick the right choices to move forward and get to the destination that you want.

And sure….sometimes there’s going to be an unexpected dragon.

But you’re a badass.  And I believe in you.

Your story doesn’t end until you say it does.

And PS.  You are the Hero of the Story.

Act like it.

Have an awesome weekend.  I love you guys.

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STAY TRUE: How To Deal With Being Different.

deer.jpgI was going to a party so I got dressed up like this.

Afterwards, my friends and I left and went to a bar together.
As soon as we walked in, the female bartender grabbed the male bartender by the wrist and they stood there behind the bar, obviously whispering and talking shit about us.
We sat at the end of the bar for about five minutes before the bartender decided she was ready to help us (the bar was mostly empty).
After dealing with the rude bartender, several people over the next half hour came over to make comments, stand between my friends and I to be aggressive, make jokes about what I was wearing and interrupt our very intimate little corner where we were all leaning in together.

Immediately, one of my close friends, who is very protective, got angry and wanted to leave.
Part of me did, too.
But here’s the deal – I knew if I lost my temper, it would ruin my whole night and I didn’t want some other people I didn’t even know ruin a great night out for me and my friends.
Then part of me felt oddly guilty, because I knew this anger and aggressive attention was because I was wearing huge antlers on my head.
But then I was like….WAIT….we are in New York City, people.
This is why I moved here….to be FABULOUS, motherfuckers.

Here’s the thing though….I’ve learned that anytime you express yourself- whether it’s dressing differently, pursuing an out-of-the-box career, performing your work, speaking your truth or sharing your art – you’re going to draw attention, and while some of that will be positive, some of that will also be negative…. -

but none of what other people do should change you from being true to yourself.

So what did we do?

1. Teach People How To Behave.

We all have a common human thread and natural curiosities.
Sometimes people get freaked out by what they don’t understand.
That’s when you gotta step in and educate them.

We took care of the comments and the weird energy by telling them we just left a party, that we were happy that it was finally Spring, that we hoped they were having a great night, too – and well – we’re going to go get back to our own conversation now – so have a nice night.

The people would then go on their way and the weird or aggressive energy was diffused.

When we took a second to communicate with them in an open and kind way, it broke down boundaries and changed their idea of “WTF??!?!” to “Oh, okay, this is kind of cool.  Okay. Have a nice night.”

2.  Change Your Environment and Find Your Co-Conspirators.

We picked up and left after about a half hour at that first place and moved on to the next bar.

The next place not only had an amazing jukebox, but had a kickass bartender who was super sweet and loved the antlers.  People take social cues from each other – and the bartender’s sweet and warm welcome to us, created a good atmosphere.  We loaded up the jukebox with singles, grabbed a table and had a great rest of the night.

Most of my friends in NYC, are creative, wild things.  We are a tight-knit family who support each other through the ups and downs of striking out on our own and adventuring out there to claim our dreams.  Years ago, I had friends that didn’t really understand why I would perform, or why I bothered – telling me I’d never be able to make a living at it and I couldn’t do it forever.  It fucked with my confidence, because I was already scared to take a chance and do something different. As soon as I changed up my friends and started hanging out with people who understood me and supported the true me, I went further than ever before.  They saw great things in me, that I couldn’t even see in my self at the time – and their encouragement pushed me to conquer my goals.

And like I’ve said to you before when I wrote about Draven Rodriguez’s suicide

You’re probably here because you’re different, too.
Because you fight every day to be your wild, creative, true self.
And that’s why there’s community here….
because you and I know how hard it is to be ourselves and get judged constantly, and slammed, and made to feel not good enough or worthy enough, or too weird, or too whatever.
We know what it’s like to feel like the world is against us at times….
and we find safety and encouragement in each other.

Thanks for being here.

I’ll leave you with this quote that really struck me from Madonna in this month’s Cosmopolitan:

“Popularity comes and goes. You need to know who you are, what you stand for, and why you’re here.”

I’m not going to change or dull myself down so other people will accept me. I’ve only got this one life, and I’ve got to stay true to myself.  I’m here to help encourage and support others to do the same.  That’s why I spend the time to do this blog three times a week.  This is so important to me because YOU are important to me – and the unique things about us that we have to offer the world CANNOT be hidden anymore.

So tell me, Danger Addicts, what is one thing you stand for?

Answer in the comments, or tweet at me and use the hashtag #istandfor.

We make revolutions happen.
Please share this with friends who need it.

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Happy Monday!

Happy Monday, My Darling Danger Addicts!

What a wild and gorgeous week is waiting for us…..
this wild girl is getting the last of my business taxes in and having a wild shipping party at the post office.

Come back tomorrow, Wednesday and Friday for your fill of Danger Diary posts this week.

We’ve got alot to talk about!

But for a moment…..think on this card that I pulled this morning – what does it mean for you?
It’s the beginning of a new week…if you could be open to anything… what are you ready for?

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(PHOTOS) Your April 2015 Tarot Horoscope!

Here are my April 2015 Tarot Horoscopes for you, my Danger Darlings!

I put my heart into these readings every month, and this is my love offering to you.

I would be so grateful if you could:
Share it, Re-Tweet it, and Pass it ON!

Just before I dive into the reading….tomorrow is a BIG DAY!

One of my last classes with the divine Miss Kitty Cavalier and Gala Darling.  Photo Credit:  Beth Mayesh.

One of my last classes with the divine Miss Kitty Cavalier and Gala Darling. Photo Credit: Beth Mayesh.

My kickass, fun classes about Sensuality, Magic, and Fierce Confidence are in NYC starting tomorrow and ALL OVER THE WORLD!

Hope to see you there….and NOW…..your April 2015 Tarot Horoscopes!
Aries – March 21 – April 19 : Ace of Pentacles
Happy Birthday, my Aries Darling….oh how I love this card, and how I love the look of this month for you.  The Ace in Tarot is the start of a whole “new beginning”.  For instance, the very first time I went cross country to see America and slept in a car under the stars….I had butterflies in my stomach for a week before.  Why?  Because I knew my whole world was about to change.  Things I had only seen before in pictures, were out there, waiting for me to see them with my own eyes.  Formations of land, bends in the road, villages and towns tucked away, roadside spectacles….they were all out there for me to discover.

Adventure was about to be my lover.  You dig?

I also knew that nothing would be the same again… a good way.  I would return a different person – and it was the start of a whole new mindset for me.   That is the story of the Ace of Pentacles.  The Pentacles deal with the element of “earth” and point towards abundance and a more positive outlook in life.  Are you ready to start a whole new phase of beauty, my birthday darling….?

Question: Take a look at that star in the middle, Dear Aries.  In this cross-section of the mighty oak tree, it is a reminder that a great tree started with a single seed.  That single seed is what you are planting now, as you continue to grow into that grand and gorgeous tree of your own dreams.  This year shall be a gorgeous year of growth and new beginnings.  What seeds do you want to plant in your life?  The soil is fertile.  Trust.  

Taurus – April 20 – May 20: The High Priestess
Woooohoooo, Taurus…. you sensual and seductive creature, the High Priestess walks beside you this month and gives you that extra boost of confidence, mystery and intuition.  From the time I was very little, I was obsessed with the moon.  I remember standing on my bed, holding onto the windowsill and staring at her for what seemed like hours.  The moon holds that hypnotic quality over mere mortals, her beauty mesmerizing and mysterious.  She also is quite powerful – controlling the tides of earth and emotions.  The Moon is my version of The High Priestess….and YOU, my darling Taurus, have that mystery and hypnotic quality this month.  A mere batting of your eyelash will send shivers down spines, a flick of your hip will cause of cause a flurry of trembling lust.  YOU have got it, and you are going to be feelin’ it this month!  Stand in your confidence and strut like a High Priestess should.  You’ve got the moon in your hair and the stars in your eyes.

Question:  Taurus, you intuitive Beauty….you know what it’s like when synchronicity happens, that feeling when everything is as it should be, when luck is on your side, and you are getting the signs left and RIGHT.  When do you feel the most powerful and confident?  How can you bring this feeling into your life more this month?  Your mojo is working strong, my Love, give it a little bit more fuel and take off like a rocket to the moon.  

Gemini – May 21 – June 20: The Hermit
Gemini, I’ve got this weird thing with birthdays.  It’s like my very own New Year.  Fuck January 1st…you know what I’m saying?  Wait.  Your birthday isn’t for another 2 months-ish……PERFECT. That’s why you are getting this card right now.  Lemme lay it out this way…when it’s my birthday, I start to reflect on the past year, and then past years before that, and future years, and where I am, and where I want to be, and what I dream of, and the person I’ve been and who I’m becoming.  It’s a whole thing.  I’m guessing on some level, you do the same.  And the Hermit, the cute little turtle friend that he is, is luring you in…. he’s like,  “Hey, you….Gemini!  Come here for a second.  Give yourself a break.  Settle down from running fifty thousand miles an hour, okay?  Chill the fuck out. See this turtle shell?  Yeah.  It’s pretty awesome.  Let’s go on an adventure for a second…imagine you can just retract from life for a moment, and be safe in this shell.  Imagine you can spend some time asking yourself what you want….what do you dream…..who do you want to be…..where do you want to go……?  Give yourself time.  Give yourself a moment.  See that light on top of the shell?  That symbolizes your inner light.  If you give yourself time, you will light up with all of your own answers.  Then you can re-emerge into life and spread that calm knowing around to those around you.”

The talking turtle is wise.

Set some time aside for yourself, dear Gemini and let yourself daydream and imagine.  You will find so many beautiful answers inside yourself.

Question:  Time to ask yourself those questions….what do you dream of?  What do you want?  Where would you like to go?  Don’t ask these questions with pressure.  Ask them with genuine quiet interest and intrigue.  Then move forward by making adjustments in your life where you see fit.  Remember, dear Gemini, rockets take off from the earth to the moon with only a 20% accuracy…they have to keep checking to make adjustments.  This is your sweet little adjustment moment.  You’ve got this.

Cancer – June 21 – July 22:  The Fool
The very first tarot deck I ever had was the Goddess Tarot.  It’s a beautiful deck with goddesses replacing all the major arcana cards.  The very first card in the deck is the goddess Tara, which is my beloved birth name.  The Tara card was the Fool card….the start of the journey….the beginning of it all.  I have always loved this card deeply and I feel like it is one of the most lucky cards of the deck.  I love the picture on this Wild Unknown deck, too….the little chick, just born, full of PURE POTENTIAL.  That’s where you are, Cancer.  That’s where I want your mindset to be this month.  Let me tell you a little story, and I want you to picture it like you are here with me…..okay?  Grab my hand……

I woke up in the middle of the night last night.  Without even thinking, I got out of bed, pulled on my coat, and went for a walk among the trees in the mountain.  It is where I feel safe.  It is where I feel like my mind can be quiet.  Now….I looked up at one point, and saw all the stars above me and took in the vastness of the sky on this crisp night….and I thought….wow.  I’m alive right now.  I’m alive and I exist in this world, and I can write the story of my life…..  I can start a new gorgeous day tomorrow and a new good adventure with this new month of April.  It was almost like a baptism of the moon over my heart and my spirit.  I take this walk with you now, and the two of us sit on my favorite rock in the mountains and we stare at the night sky.  We think of all of the dreams that stir in our hearts and I squeeze your hand, because anything is possible.  And fuck the obstacles.  Fuck them.

I don’t believe in obstacles.  I believe in You.

Question:  When I whisper to you of your wildest and purest potential…..what gorgeous images come to your mind?  Let them flow….don’t censor them, don’t turn them into what other people want to see, don’t judge them, let them just morph into the beautiful creatures that they want to be.  There’s a feeling of newness in the air for you…throw yourself into the journey that your heart has been dreaming of.  It’s time.

Leo – July 23 – August 22: The Sun
Lovely Leo, for the first time this year….a mere four days ago, something lovely happened.  I was walking down a street in Brooklyn with my little chihuahua friend, Niney, and as I turned a corner, the sun was in my face.  For the first time I can remember in what seemed like forever, the sun was warm on my skin.  The feeling was so beautiful it stopped me in my tracks….and there I stood, on a busy Brooklyn street, completely still, eyes closed, face tilted toward the sun with my chihuahua by my side.  Those brief moments in the sun that day, warmed my heart for the rest of the afternoon.  I had a spring in my step, knowing the sun is shortly returning to me.  When I get this card, dear Leo, I think of the sun living in my chest.  Can you imagine how good that would feel?  That’s you, Babe.  You know when you get a crush on someone so hard you feel like you are glowing from the inside out?  That’s you, Lover.  You know when wild ideas you have start to work and weave themselves in your life and your heart starts fluttering like a bird’s wings?  Yep….YOU.  This month.

The rays of the sun shall reach your heart and warm it.  You will find yourself being the “light” in every room you walk into.  You will be irresistible.  You will have the power to make some girl in Brooklyn stop in her tracks and tilt her face towards you as the world rushes around her.  Do you know what I’m saying?    As John Lennon sang, “We all shine on….”    Feel that shiny, glittery, gorgeousness of you….and then shine it to everyone around you and bask in the warmth.

Question: Dear Leo, when is the last time that you felt warmed from the inside out?  What makes you feel like you are “on fire”?  Go after things that make you feel lovely this month, the things that make you warm, the things that hold your heart in an embrace like the sun.

Virgo – August 23 – September 22: The Hierophant
My Virgo Love, the raven sits upon the “key of knowledge” as it is struck by the colorful lightning strike that can only be known as “a-ha”!  You know what I’m talking about…..that moment when you get it, the moment when all makes sense.  If you’ve been feeling lost, then let me tell you what the Raven wants to communicate.  Now…my sweet Grandma Helen always interpreted this card’s story as “the teacher and the guide”.  And the best part about the way she interpreted it, was not only was this card saying…. it is time to find your teacher and guide to grow towards your future….but it was also an acknowledgment that YOU, my darling Virgo, have some serious things to teach others as well…..and that you must be open to being in your power as a guide as well.

When my life gets uncertain or wild or shifted, one of the things that will make me snap back into it is throwing myself into a schedule.  For many years, when I was regularly in the city, before I was touring everywhere like a wild thing, I regularly attended a New Moon Circle that Barbara Biziou held every month.  Having a regular practice, and having a teacher and guide in Barbara as I was making so many changes in my life, really helped me grow. I also started to see my own natural strengths and discover how I could help others.  I really wanted to help other women feel confident and kickass and take back their own sensual natures.  That’s why I decided to start my classes online and in NYC this month.  It is SO important to find your teachers and guides in this life, and also find what YOU have to offer others at the same time.

Question: My Virgo Friend, what teacher or guide are you seeking out right now?  If you could close your eyes and have a teacher appear before you…..what would they teach you?  What are you in need of right now?  It is time for you to seek that teacher.  Also, what do you feel like comes to you naturally that you can help others learn?  How can you guide others?  When your heart is open to helping others, the ones who will help you will arrive in your life.  A brand new journey of teaching and learning awaits you.

Libra – September 23rd – October 22nd:  6 of Cups
Lovely Libra, the one story that this card wants you to always remember is that you are made up of more than you realize.  Your “roots” hold color and vibrance under the surface.  I remember being in Florida during a massive hurricane and flying down the empty highway in my beat-up Camaro as the wind blew so hard, the palm trees were almost sideways.  The thing about palm trees is that their roots are so strong, those skinny trees can actually stand huge winds and still not budge.  The 6 of Cups reminds me of that.  The 6 of Cups tells you to indulge for a moment in the sweetness and kind memories of the past.  There can be a power in nostalgia if you look back at the beautiful things that have made up your life.  These same things are what you can lean on when the wind wants to blow you over….you can root into the memory and strength of your past.  And if you look back, and you start to miss someone from your past who is no longer here physically or is no longer in your life (whether they have moved or you’ve lost touch), remember that their story and their good influence on your life is still wrapped within your roots making you stronger against the storm.

In a recent diary post, I talked about the importance of 8 and 80. This is my idea that we always need to check in with our inner 8 year old and make sure that they are giving the thumbs up for what we are doing in our lives and then at the same time, making sure our 80 year old versions of us are psyched about the stories that they will get to tell. The 6 of Cups can be something like this. Visit with your inner 8 year old….they are still alive and well, just part of those gorgeous roots of yours….feed them with adventure and love.

QuestionThe 6 of Cups holds the positive memories, the memories passed from one generation to another. What great gifts have previous generations given you and what gifts can you pass down?    

Scorpio – October 23 – November 21:  6 of Pentacles
Scorpio, the 6 of Pentacles talks of good fortune coming into your life.  Just like on the card in the photo, this fortune comes to you in something you’ve grown yourself….something you’ve worked for and now you are starting to see some things come to fruition.  My darling, you also have known what it was like to struggle before things have turned your way.  Many times in life, we have been on the “good end” of money and finances and abundance, and also on the “bad end”.  If right now you are finding yourself on a lucky streak with abundance coming to you through your work, it’s time to reach back to someone who might be struggling and lend a hand.   The more I live in this world, the more I realize all the ways we have such an effect on each other.  I believe as we grow we can help others and the cycle can continue for all of us to be able to feel what it feels like to be successful on our own terms, doing things that we love for a living.

Imagine this…..someone walks up to you and gives you 10 million dollars…..but the catch is – you can’t spend it on yourself, you have to help others with the money.  Who would you help?

Okay, now….you might not have 10 million dollars….but you can still help someone just as if you did.  You’re creative, Scorpio, keep your eyes open…and the answer to that last question….there’s someone out there whose life you can make better just with a hand out in care.  Who will it be?  I promise your act of kindness will enrich all.

Question: Scorpio, a few weeks ago, I passed by my first apartment in the city.  When I lived there, I had one thin winter coat.  As I drove my car past that old familiar stoop, I yelled, “In the future you have FIVE winter coats, it’s going to be OKAY!”  I have often fantasized about being able to wrap one of my coats up and bring it back to that stoop and hope it can time travel back to the old me who needed it.  What would you bring back in time for Old You to make his/her life better?  IS there a way that you can do that act of kindness for someone right now who might need it?

Sagittarius – November 22 – December 21: The Hanged Man
My darling Sagittarius….I must admit that when I pull this bat friend out of the deck, it generally comes at a time where I am feeling a bit stuck in my life…..and I am always grateful that this card comes to me with its unique message:

“Time to look at things from a new perspective.” 

The Hanged Man in a traditional deck always has a calm look on his face….the world has been rushing him, or pushing him to make decisions and take certain paths.  He decides to take “a break” for a moment and meditates hanging upside down on the tree.  Sometimes when we’re feeling stuck or confused, it’s hard to see things as they really are…..the Hanged Man flips the world upside down, and then by looking at things from a new perspective, everything starts to make sense.  Also, it should be noted, that after the bat takes his break and looks at things in a new perspective, he unfolds his big beautiful wings and SOARS…. this is you this month, dear Sagittarius.

When Burke and I were writing Revolver, we felt like we had it finished and it worked.  We showed the early version of the script to several people and everyone had a completely different opinion on how to fix it or change it.  It became overwhelming trying to figure out what to do.  We went back to it six months later, and because we gave ourselves a break and distanced ourselves from the writing for a moment, we were able to read it with new eyes and see the parts that really worked and the parts that didn’t.  We had new perspective by giving it a break for a moment and coming back to it.  We easily fixed it and completed the story that had all of our friends saying “THIS IS IT!”  Sometimes you just need a break to be able to see exactly what you have!

Question: Never fear, Sagittarius, the Hanged Man is a welcomed card!  For he is wise, gives himself a break, and finds a new way to look at things to proceed.  What in your life would you like a “New Perspective” on?  This month will help you open to new ideas and new creativity simply by looking at regular life a bit differently.  

Capricorn – December 22 – January 19: Ace of Cups
Oh my Love, Capricorn….this month delivers you a goblet of opportunity.  This, my darling, is the magic elixir.  It is offered to you with love, and when you take a sip, you feel your heart open in your chest to all the “New Beginnings” that you have before you.  The ace always stands for new beginnings.  The cups are rooted in emotions – love and creativity.  Get ready to fall in love in a deep, deep level with your current relationship or with a new version of your creative work.  Your emotions are open and close to the surface, which is a beautiful moment for creative work – writing, painting, performing, dancing….you can’t go wrong this month.

By sipping the Ace of Cups, your world will “open”.  The things that you have been wishing for will be coming toward you….your “magnet” will be ON, and you will easily find yourself doing the right things in life, rather than standing aside and contemplating what you should do.  When I started doing burlesque, I remember having a great idea for a comedy burlesque piece that involved a fake mouse, a chair and me in a 1950s housewife outfit.  I loved the concept of it and kept trying to push it to work for me.  I went through the motions of it, but I guess in the end, it wasn’t really my style. When I sat with myself, when I was open to what I truly wanted to do, I knew I wanted to do classic “slow burn” style burlesque.  That’s what everything about me wanted to do….and once I started down that road, it all seemed easy, it came to me easy, rather than pushing something that I though might be good but wasn’t me.  So that slow burn style was my sip of the Ace of Cups….my real emotion overflowing and being brought to the stage…..real, true and powerful.  Relish every sip!

Question:  Get ready to feel that falling in love feeling!  Whether it’s with a partner or with your creative work – it is coming!  What things do you feel most “in love” with in your life right now?  What do you want to bring into your life?  Take a sip of that Ace of Cups….and let the world know what you want….it will start coming to you this month.

Aquarius – January 20 – February 18: Father Of Pentacles
My Sweet Aquarius, just look at this card!  That Father of Pentacles is bold and TAKING OVER. This is your month to really step into your leadership style, my darling.  Let me tell you the story of this powerful Father of Pentacles….he is able to “go for it” in all that he does this month, and everything he touches turns to gold.  People look up to the Father of Pentacles as someone who knows what the hell they are doing and is an authority figure.  The cool thing about this Father of Pentacles, is that he also is really supportive of others who are looking to do their dreams.  He offers support and encouragement to those around him who are looking to make a change, take a leap and throw themselves into their wild hearted whims.  He is someone to depend on, and he is seen as a leader of his friends.  His success and abundance grows with every passing day, and those around him celebrate as well because he always supports and celebrates them.

Read that one more time, Aquarius.  He is YOU this month.

Doesn’t that feel good?  Doesn’t that description feel good?   I mean, look at that card.  You are there….stunning, in charge, and glowing with all the potential you have and all the things you put into action and DO.  #getitgetit

Question: Imagine you’ve been cast in a play as the Father of Pentacles.  How would you play this magnificent creature?  What would you go after in your life with the determination to succeed?  What would you like to turn into “gold” in your life?  How can you support the dreams as others as well?  If you have any doubt this month, look at this card, and push forward! <3

Pisces – February 19 – March 20:  Two of Pentacles.
Darling Pisces….there’s a story about how butterflies come out of the cocoon that I want to share with you.  Did you know that when a butterfly larvae is in the cocoon, their whole world is just mush until they start to form into this beautifully colored creature with wings.  Then the butterfly starts to pound its wings against the sides of the cocoon to escape.  For quite some time, the butterfly just keeps pounding its wings over and over against the sides of the cocoon.  And finally, once the butterfly has strong enough wings, the cocoon is broken and the butterfly soars.  I think of this story whenever I’m going through a moment of struggle, because I think of that butterfly in me, getting ready to soar in a moment.  Through work and personal change, the soaring will start to happen and the real fun begins.

The two of Pentacles is about having a perfect balance between work and play and being able to balance the things that come at you.  If things change, you can handle it like a boss, and keep moving on to a new adventure.  The two of Pentacles is ready to bring the fun in, it’s ready to “go with the flow”, it’s being in touch with that side of us that’s flexible and ready for good adventures.

Question: My Lovely Pisces….how can you find more balance in your life?  Make sure you are giving yourself time to “play” and time to “work”.  How can you let go and have more flow in your life?  Get ready for some calm and beautiful balance with a gorgeous touch of fun this month!

Whew!  If you loved your tarot horoscope, please show the Danger Diary some love by tweeting and sharing.

You guys are the best!  Have a great month!

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How To Be Magnetic: 4 Ways To Rev Up Your Magnetism.

I spent an hour curled up in the little garden, my magical Macbook Air friend sitting on a wooden step in front of me, broadcasting my first online Sensuality and Seduction class to the world.

Myself and 50 kickass women, from as far as Australia to my familiar streets of New York City, spent 60 gorgeous minutes igniting our imaginations, creating  our “seduction stories”, laughing and sharing secrets about the importance of body language and signature scents.

And now, as night falls, and I sit in a candlelit cafe tucked in the mountains, I was thinking about what we talked about today and I was thinking about what TRUE MAGNETISM means.

My brain whirled with these questions:

 What is True Magnetism?

♥  What is that wild magnet in our souls that draws us to each other?

♥  How do we cultivate that magnetic pull?

Less than a month ago, my forehead against some East Village bar, listening to some sad songs on a jukebox, I sighed to my dear friend, Jaye, “I think I lost my magnet.”

Fast forward to a mere 21 days later, Spring approaching on the edges of New York City, bringing longer days and warmer nights….my magnet feels charged, pulling the good things to me once again.

But how do you re-charge an inner magnet?  And what the fuck is this magnet anyway?

The magnet is the truest reflection of you.

For example, I was talking to my friend, Desiree, the other night, who is a writer and storyteller, and who just won a major story slam.  She was glowing as I was asking her questions about it, and her friend jumped in and said….. “She’s been on FIRE lately.”

Your magnet is your fire.

If you’re feeling like you’ve lost your magnet lately, here’s my tips on how to find it again and get that fucker working.

♥  Throw Yourself Into Some Serious Self Care.  

Yes.  I know.  If you’re feeling like you’ve lost your magnet, you might be in the head-under-the-covers-maybe-I’ll-just-watch-Netflix-some-more stage.  Just doing something simple, like dragging yourself out and searching for a “Signature Scent” for Spring might whip you back into shape.
Now.  I can see you shake your head at me right now.  “Veronica, what in the hell does going to get some perfume or oils have to do with this?”
My love.  My sweet darling.  It has everything to do with it.  Smell triggers gorgeous emotions in us, and not only that scent is our biggest connector to memory.  To start fresh and find your magnet again, what kind of scent is going to be your “fantasy” of you?

I personally dig fresh pressed from the peel orange oil and I fiend over dark sensual scents like Gucci Rush and Obsession.  What’s your signature scent favorites?


♥  Do Something That You Are Wildly Passionate About For 30 Minutes Today and Get A Text Partner.

In the midst of my lost magnet, Bastard Keith (Burlesque MC/Singer/Writer) and I started an hour long writing session project.  Basically, we would choose an hour during the day, and five minutes before he would text me to get ready.  At that point, I shut off my internet, open my pages document and let my fingers fly for an hour.  For some reason, knowing that he was somewhere in Brooklyn doing the same thing, kept me on task.  Trust me, those thoughts like – hey- the-dog-probably-needs-to-go-for-a-walk-right-now or, damn,-I’m-feeling-hungry-maybe-I’ll-just-go-grab-some-lunch definitely came up, but I shoved them down because at the end of that hour, Bastard Keith is going to be texting me how I did, and I want to kick ass.

This mini-accomplishment of working creativity on my writing helps me feel good about myself and charges up that magnet.

♥  Do Something That Is Good For You For About For 30 Minutes Today and Get A Text Partner.

Notice I didn’t say “wildly passionate about”, but “good for you”.  I’m talking about the shit that you do now, that a month from now Future You will be psyched that you did.   My friend, Kristi Klein and I work out and then text each other pictures afterwards.  When I see her picture come through on my phone, it motivates me to get my ass moving.  By the end of it, I feel great, like I did something right, and then I send stupid pictures like this.  You know, pictures that you never needed to see, that I don’t know why the hell I’m posting publicly:

Untitled design (1)

♥  Go Out Dressed Up as Fantasy You.

The winter up in the old New York City has been dragging.  It snowed the first day of Spring.  And if I have to look at anything resembling a winter coat or clothes, I want to just rip it to shreds.

Last week, when the morning was filled with rain and clouds and I could feel the weather creeping into my mood, I fought back with dress up.  I had ALOT to do.  I planned on bringing my computer to a local cafe to work and I decided I was going to dress up to make myself feel better .  I warmed up my hot curlers, pulled on my nude silk stockings, listened to my “Voodoo Playlist” while I streaked on my black liquid cateye, slipped into a 1940s chocolate brown and pink dress, and stepped out the door in my t-strap mary jane shoes.  I felt like a wild world dominating femme fatale and at that coffee house, my fingers tapped that keyboard a million miles an hour, getting my stuff done and being a boss.

Go-Go Magnet Power!

What helps you rev up your magnet?

If you loved this post, please SHARE IT.  I think that’s sexy!

Wanna learn more with me?  Well I’m teaching LIVE in NYC this month and on the ol’ internets……

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