It is STILL snowing since last I talked to you And today I braved the snow to get my Bombshell Girls’ bundles out! Here I am pretty pink faux fur all hunched over to protect your packages, being blinded by sideways snow flakes!
I want to thank my first customers since the store has opened!! The most Dangerous Dames out there… the Enchanting Miss Elizabeth of California, the Divine Miss Shelly of the UK, the Exquisite Miss Eline and the Perfect Miss Petra of the Netherlands. MWAH!!!!! Much hugs and kisses to you!
When I said world domination I meant it!
Join our FORCES OF FEMME FATALES!
Of hula hooping fun! Non-Stop!
I got my brand new handmade double helix hula in the mail yesterday. When I went to pick it up from the post office…it had just priority mail envelopes wrapped around its tube and taped down. So you could even hula it like that. The mail guy probably did.
I gave them my slip to pick it up and all three of the people at the post office came to the window…”oh, so this is YOURS!!! Of course it is!”
I guess they already know me.
“Guess what I got??!!” I yelled and held it up in glory! The post office did not erupt in furious clapping and yelling like I had hoped. Perhaps they were not as excited as I was.
Perhaps…they didn’t understand the beauty of what was about to go down.
I decided for the breaking in of the new hula I was going to beat my old record. Well…I’m very proud to report that I was able to spin for almost FIVE HOURS! STRAIGHT! Setting a new household record! …And only 83 hours and 7 minutes short of the World Record.
I will try again next week
It took me by surprise…all of a sudden snow flurries flying across the window! I get kind of all little kid-ish with snow. Giddy. Impractical even…as I immediately cleared all the plants off the windowsill so I could climb out to my fire escape and revel in it all. In a little short sleeve dress.
It was worth it….it was so mesmerizing looking down the industrial street…the snow whipping everywhere. Then when I looked straight down through the metal grating of the fire escape…it was drifting softly…fluttering. Millions of little snowflakes kissing my skin.
It made me really happy. Life can be really fun sometimes. I officially called a no school day for myself. And then made hot chocolate.
While waiting for water to boil for dinner tonight…I flipped on the radio and was overwhelmed with the need to hula.
I grabbed my hot pink hula and sang along with the radio. I made myself giggle outloud.
I’ve been hula hooping since I was 14 and have won numerous contests for longest spin. The longest I have ever needed to spin in contests was 47 minutes. Once I only needed to spin for about 15 minutes to be the winner. That was sad. On my own, I can spin for over two hours if so inclined. I have won countless radio station mugs and keychains, a beach blanket, a 50s tape, a plastic fruit necklace and other various kitchy things symbolizing the perfection of my craft.
I am insane.
I can’t do any tricks at all. I just spin. Forever. If you watch for too long I will put you in a trance. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I used to watch the Psychedelic Furs video collection “All of This and Nothing” over and over while I hula-hooped. Tip to wanna be Hula Champs out there (if there are any besides me – it is good to focus on something else intently instead of thinking about what you are doing for maximum spin time. Preferably hot, mesmerizing things like Richard Butler of the Furs. Heehee!
It is interesting to note that the hula hoop was banned in Japan and that the Soviet Union said that the hula hoop was an example of the “emptiness of American culture.” It existed in ancient Egypt…and I am certain that Cleopatra was a hula girl! There is no other way to rule the world.
Speaking of ruling the world….the hula is on my 13 point plan of world domination. Just in case you were wondering….
The most coveted thing on earth to me were these white vinyl go-go boots. Zip up side. Super shiny.
I was seven.
Everyone came to my house to play dress up. My mom’s castaways were pretty damn good. And I shared everything…except the boots. Touch the boots and you’re gonna get hurt.
Somewhere…on the face of this earth…there exists a picture of me in those white go-go boots, with a blue wrap dress, and a turban carrying my dad’s backgammon board.
I don’t get it either. But it’s beautiful.
We just finished shooting the pics to the site. And i’m really proud of the collection. If i was seven, i would be pretty damn pleased in raiding my twenty-something self’s closet. And you can come over and raid it with me, we’ll eat cookies and giggle…stand in front of mirrors and lip synch into our hairbrushes on our favorite songs. We will be rock stars and own the world. We will be punk rock girls musing in the gutter. We will be starlets from the 50s dreaming at soda shop counters and femme fatales from the 40s with guns tucked in our gartered stockings.
And most importantly….
We will have a working plan for world domination….and it will start right here :-)!