Magic Monday: Room Readings are New Palm Readings

I was like a girl with amnesia.

I had been on the road for a long time and now I was standing in the middle of my living room…and I wasn’t recognizing anything being mine.  I wasn’t connected to anything.

Our couch was this big brown ugly fold out thing that was left behind by the previous tenant.

13 years ago.

Two gigantic dark and towering bookshelves hovered over me. Every time I walked into that room, I felt like 50 people were jammed into that room with me.

Our chairs were street scores, the gifts of garbage night.

And after being away for awhile, I looked around and realized that none of the things in my space reflected me or reflected Burke. They were easy conveniences and handed down things that just kind of showed up.

I didn’t want to live in broken, easy conveniences anymore.

Thankfully, Burke is cool and always game for an adventure, so we dragged all of our furniture in the living room out onto the street and I set up a “Curb Alert” on Craigslist.

We had a blank slate.

A new story to tell.

Our own.

I have collected turn of the century fortune telling books and vintage hand mirrors for years and they were collecting dust, hidden in a drawer. Burke took these hidden treasures of mine and together we hung them up all over the walls like art.

My Parlour

My Parlour

We went to the fabric district and got yards of colorful fabric – rich golds, oranges and reds and the two of us draped them over ceiling – turning the ugly drop ceiling into a whimsical circus tent. I picked up a pretty purple rug on sale from Ikea. Then Burke and I found a Victorian couch that was the steal of a lifetime at a local second hand shop that was going out of business.


I made an altar in the old fireplace that used to house a old television.

We printed out a picture that was taken of us at Coney Island’s Mermaid Parade and hung it in a gold frame.

Picture 25

Chilling with my True Love, Burke Heffner. Coney Island Mermaid Parade.

The room was ours. Finally. It reflected us.

And something crazy started to happen. After years of writing on occasion, my journal spotted with 3 entries a month…I would be drawn to that Victorian couch and that beautiful room to write. I started giving tarot readings in that room because it was reminiscent of a fortune teller’s caravan in a traveling circus.

And I realized that there is magic in things that we surround ourselves in, when I finally made my space my own…my dreams came true faster, and I started to do the things I wanted to do more – because I was reminded of them in my environment.

When I was chosen to be a life coach on MTV’s MADE, I was lucky enough to get paired with an amazing human being known as Andrea Martin. Andrea is a extremely talented artist and a wildly creative person. We met at her school first, and we had extensive interviews together on-camera where we got to know one another. When I went to her bedroom, I was shocked. It was her childhood bedroom, and it had some really cool memorabilia from her past, but a lot of stuff she had just accumulated and it didn’t reflect her at all. She wasn’t attached to it either…it was just a bunch of stuff.

The thing that stuck out to me most – was here was this amazing artist, with not one piece of her own art on her walls.

Walking into her room, I was introduced to the ghost of Andrea’s past. The Andrea of the present didn’t exist there, and neither did the dreams of Andrea’s future.

Once we cleared it out, and got her beautiful art into frames and onto her walls, she was inspired more to live her dreams. She became more confident in this space where she was constantly surrounded by the beauty she created.

There is psychological magic in what we surround ourselves with. Trust me on this one.

Want to take this further?

It’s like palm reading but a “room readings”.

If you and I had never met, and I walked into your space while you weren’t there…. would I be able to really know the person you are just by looking around at your personal space? Are objects of your dreams out and about? Are creations you made on the walls or shelves?

Have a friend come over and do room readings for each other. He or she might see something in you and your personality that they might not find in your space.

If I’m ever feeling stuck in my life….on a project, on my writing, on performances…I move 9 things in my space. It tricks your brain into getting a new perspective.

Does your room reflect you?

Attach a picture of your space in the comments and tell me if you think your space reflects you or if that’s something you need to work on. If more than 40 people put their room pictures up, one picture will be selected by random and I will do a “room reading” on it, then do a 10 minute brainstorm Skype call with you to see if we can come up with cool ways to boost it even more to be a space of your own!

C’mon. Invite me to your place! I wanna see your pictures…..

How To Write the Sexiest, Most Passionate Love Letter Ever…to Yourself.

I have penned flowing cursive with luscious words to people that I’ve been madly in love with, to people I’ve had wild inspiration crushes on, to people who have adventured with me in gutters all over the world as my dear friends….
love letter

I have pressed the pen to paper in a hot, frenzy of utter adoration.
I have pressed my lip prints to some leaving a trace of me behind.
I have folded these notes into eighths like a schoolgirl and slid them under doors, into suitcases, into my perfumed envelopes and I have pressed them into palms.

Love letter writing is my art. Seduction and words, my paint. The kiss prints, the perfume spritz, the folding and sealing, the secret delivery of them….my drugs.

I have passionately bitten the corners of love letters leaving my teeth marks upon them.
I have poured drops of my morning nutmeg sprinkled lattes on them when I’m half way across the world from my Lover.
I have pouted and pressed my blood red lipstick kisses on them.
I have seared their corners with the flames of magic candles that I made with my own hands.
I have smeared their ink with drops of my tears.
I have licked the name of the person I wrote it to….to hold the letters of their name in my mouth a little bit longer….

The wandering moments when writing can become a wild fetish.
Scrawled black ink staining a perfect cream page.
Knowing the Recipient’s fingers will trace the same folds that my hands made in the paper.
Knowing that eyes will take in all the loops and curves of my hand-writing…the magics of my meaning.


A note to my Lover even survived our house fire. Proof that it’s hotter than fire itself.


Confession: I have written these notes for years. But it was only 3 years ago, when I turned that pen on myself.

Perhaps it was long overdue.

I got out my favorite cream colored paper and spritzed my red bottle of Gucci Rush on it. I waved it in the air to dry, like I’ve done a million times before. Waiting to be inspired by the sultry scent of it.

And then I pressed my pen to the paper and was…..

Where to begin? It felt stupid maybe. Trite. A love letter to myself. Why bother?

But as one of my heroes, Ru Paul, loves to say: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?….

Can I get an amen?

Even though it felt silly, I made myself do it that first time. And when I was done, I felt exhilarated. There, in my own hand, in permanent ink, were praises I sang to myself for the first time, were things I was proud of, were things I thought made me the most unique.

I loved this exercise.
I made Andrea Martin do it on international television on MTV’s MADE with me.
I make the women who come to my workshops do it.
I’ve made my friends do it.

Bonus Points: Share your love letter with someone you trust. They will always add things that you have forgotten or incredible things you just don’t see about yourself.

How do you even begin?

1. Get beautiful paper to write on and a perfect pen. Lately I’ve been using an antique cream 30lb paper for my letters and a deep purple ink pen.

2. Spritz your scent on the paper before you write (so it doesn’t smear the ink afterwards). Fan the paper back and forth in your face, and close your eyes to take in the scent. Let it inspire you.

3. Step back and think about what you love about yourself. What makes you YOU? What makes you unique, interesting, sizzling, different, awesome, lovely, adventurous, passionate? Even though it feels silly, write it down. You know the stories from people who have died and come back to life…when they say that when they are leaving their body, it is only at that moment that they realize how amazing they were? It is only at that moment that they felt love for this being that they were on earth for that period of time.

Well this is your time, Baby. This is your body. This is your life. And this is your letter to celebrate it.

If you are getting stuck, you should absolutely check out this brilliant post which includes a love letter that sassy seductress, Kitty Cavalier wrote and shared in one my classes. When she read it out loud, everyone in class sighed with appreciation. It was gorgeous and liberating.

Would you like to be really brave? Share 4 lines of a love letter to yourself in the comments below. One random person will win a love letter (sent via snail mail) from me. AND if you would like to be enchanted further…. I will be teaching my very first workshop of 2013 on March 23rd in NYC – the Journey of Seduction at Kitty’s School of Charm and Cheek. Because I’ve slated 2013 to work on my film and my book proposal – teaching will be a rare treat. I hope you can join me…this is what happened last time and it was hot.


Can’t wait to read snippets of your love letters…