Dear Danger: Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Relationship Advice

Why do I look naked in this?
Why does Burke completely bust me filming at the end?
Can’t this shit be professional at all?
Bringing you the most unqualified advice on the internet….

Please SHARE if you like this and want me to keep it as a regular Friday vlog.

Awww yeah!
Happy Weekend.

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How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You

Hello, Fiery Lovers!
Welcome back to my 3 part Friday sexy series of “How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You.”
If you missed last week’s – start here!

And before I dive into this week’s tips  -for those of you craving some seduction/sensuality sass and confidence….

 I’m teaching an in-person 4 week series in NYC starting Thursday, April 2nd –
sign up for all 4 classes and get a class for free
AND get a love spell kit from me!

♥  I’m offering 2 online classes for those of you not in NYC –
sign up for both and get a chance to win a love spell kit from me shipped to your doorstep!


So how….my darlings… you make anyone fall in love with you?

Today our focus is on:

Being Willing To Share An Experience Right Away

Think about this:
Most dates or hang-outs with new friends are probably “passive” dates.

These are get-togethers that revolve around something the two of you are passively watching and not actually taking part in.

I’m talking about dates or hang-outs like going to the movies, going to see a play, going to see a concert, going to see a game, renting a movie together, watching the Academy Awards together.

These are no, no and no – if you really want to make someone fall for you.

Making a date ACTIVE is the ultimate secret to connection….

 whether the active is mental (having a deep connected conversation, going to a museum to see art together and discuss)

 or physical (going on a walk/hike, taking a pottery class together, going out dancing).

The brain retains ACTIVE memories, and has a harder time recalling inactive memories.

Question….which one do you think you’ll remember better?

You and me going on a date to see 50 Shades of Gray and passively watching someone else’s fantasy?


You and me driving all over New York City, having great conversation and seeing the lights of the city, hanging out at the Slipper Room until dawn, and then hurling ourselves into a gutter together?


Three months from now, which do you think you’ll remember more?

And even if you’re not the type of person who’s into chilling with a wild girl who enjoys the gutter and regularly references the Slipper Room as her version of the perfect afterlife,
I fucking guarantee you….you would never forget one of these wild NYC nights out.
And I don’t know about you but I’d rather have someone say….”That girl was CRAZY,” rather than “Oh, what girl? Oh, the dark haired one? Right…yeah, I forgot her name, I think we went to go see some shitty movie together.”

FACT:  Most of us are hooked to a computer or our cell phones for the majority of our days.
Eye contact and actually listening and being heard can be serious drugs.

Going on a date gives you a chance to take the person on an “active” adventure or experience.

The easiest way to a person’s heart is to use the time you have together to “take them away” from their everyday world.

I’m talking about bringing someone to the top of the Empire State Building (or your equivalent) and experience being above the city lights, looking into each other’s eyes and talking.

I’m talking about texting them to meet you at a spot in the park and arriving with an awesome picnic, some candles and a blanket.

I’m talking about going on a walk together or on a drive together exploring new things with no real destination (mini road trips are my favorite way to bond).

I’m talking about taking them to a cool museum, where you can both look at different pieces of art and interact with each other.

I’m talking about dancing your asses off, looking into each other’s eyes and feeling comfortable with each other.

Tell me….what memorable dates have you been on, Danger Darlings?
And you wanna know the key to my heart?
……SHARING this post with your friends!
I’m writing hard over here for your love and affection. xo
Hope to see you in class!
And yes, you can bring me a shiny apple.

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Flirt Alert! How To Flirt – 3 Tips From A Burlesque Performer.

For the past 8 years, I’ve made a living as a professional burlesque performer.
Flirting is a job skill, my friends.

I have always enjoyed looking at human interaction….
seeing what brings us closer,
watching for signs communicated by body language.

There are so many different ways that we speak to each other.

The following 3 tips are just a few of the things that I’ve noticed about flirting.
The things that I do aren’t manipulative or planned…
these are just things that I’ve noticed that I do,
or I have noticed others doing when I am drawn to them.

Wanna learn with me?
I’m doing 4 in-person Sensuality and Seduction classes in NYC, starting Thursday, March 26th
and I’m doing two international online classes starting Sunday, March 29th!


Let’s play!

Flirt Tip #1: My Hook and Release Technique.
This is something that I noticed when watching other people having an intimate conversation. It naturally occurs – and I started to notice myself doing it when talking to people that I felt truly comfortable with.

This tip is all about voice levels and body language.

After having a normal tone conversation with your crush,
lean in with your body and talk in a hushed tone,
this will naturally cause your crush to lean in closer to you to hear the secret.

After a few moments of that,
push your body back into the chair as far away from your crush as possible,
take up room with your body (drape your arms over back of chair, etc)
and continue the story in a louder voice
as if you have control of the whole room.

I’ve witnessed this happen naturally with people who are really good with “working a room”.
It is fascinating to watch a crowd of people gather around one person and all lean in intimately as the person speaks in a softer, hushed tone.
Then, as the person leans back and pulls the “punch line” or end of a story in a louder voice, I have watched the crowd also mimic and lean back….taking this person in fully.

This works like a charm one-on-one.

Flirt Tip #2: The Melting Look (or Look/Look Away/Look Technique)
This is something I do naturally on stage ALL THE TIME.
And since I’m aware of it, I notice that people that flirt do it constantly.

Look at your crush right in the eyes.
Then take a moment to look towards the floor and let your crush visually “take you in” without you looking at them.
Take this moment to look down and tuck your hair behind your ear, fix your stocking, or have a sip of your drink….
Then with your head still tilted down,
glance up to your crush and hold a solid gaze for 5 seconds.


Flirt Tip #3: The Presidential. (The Slow Down)
I call this technique of mine The Presidential, because I’ve noticed that most presidents do this.
I am hypnotized by voice.
It’s no surprise that some of my best friends and the people closest to me are singers/musicians.
In New York City, where I live, I notice that people generally speak rapidly to keep up with one another.
In the past couple of years, as technology gets faster, our attention spans decrease, and I’ve noticed when even going home to a more relaxed place like Florida, people seem to talk faster than they used to.
Watch a clip of the President speaking….
You will notice that he speaks
slowly and clearly
so that people from all over the world can understand.
It is hypnotizing and powerful.
If you want to really draw your crush into you…
speak slowly, deliberately and with power.
It’s so different from what we are used to,
your crush will take notice and be drawn in.

PS. This is also a great way to train yourself out of “like” and “um” in your speaking….
it has absolutely worked for me.

See you in class!

Are you flirting with me?

What are your favorite ways to flirt?
What has worked for you? What has worked ON you?
Share with me in the comments!
Do you want to write a love letter to your crush? I’ve got the secrets here!

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My Slightly NSFW Weekend in 3 Videos: Burlesque, Rock and Roll and YAY!

I taught myself Nine Inch Nails “The Only Time” on acoustic guitar on my front porch and then I played for you:

I dropped by the Slipper Room and did my Morticia – Addams Family act which the brilliant Joe Watson filmed:

I spun wildly with partner-in-crime, Burke Heffner at the 3-Day Hudson Project Festival – site of the last Woodstock. It was pretty incredible. If you were with me, this is what it would be like:

I’m challenging myself to do more videos and put them out there.
I know I love watching your videos – because it always makes me feel like I know you better.
Hope you enjoyed this “slice of life” of my wild world this weekend.

How was your weekend, Danger Addicts?
Do you Vlog? Do you have a YouTube channel? Tell me. Share. I wanna watch you, too!
OR just make a quick vid and say hi to all of us and add in the comments.

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True Story: I Travelled 3,500 Miles To Live My Burlesque Dream.

She travelled all the way from Scotland
on 2 planes and then 4 trains to meet me at a tiny coffee shop
in Brooklyn.
She had never been to New York City before.
She knows no one in this city of 32 million people
except for me.

She came here to make her dream come true.

Backstage at The Slipper Room.

Backstage at The Slipper Room.

As I type this she is sitting next to me…
and our wild 24 hours together of
costume getting,
false eyelash wearing,
99 cent store raiding,
and a late burlesque New York City night…
is almost over.

Reegan made her New York City debut as Viola le Feu last night
and brought the Slipper Room to its knees.
As I watched her from the side of the stage,
I got tears in my eyes
because fear kept me back from so many things for so long.
I know that we lose so many people’s dreams in the world to fear and doubt.
Viola pushed through and confidently threw herself into it.

When fear loses and dreams conquer
it is a goddamn good day.

Here are 3 tips from Viola herself on how to rock out your dreams and slay all obstacles:

1. Don’t Hold Back. Be The Person You Want To Be.

As we’re sitting here having breakfast, Viola described herself as being “quite shy” and “super conscious” of how other people judged her or looked at her before meeting her burlesque mentor in Scotland, Magenta Lust. Viola appreciates Magenta’s bold choices – in her own unique style, how she expresses herself and her style of burlesque. Viola took the leap and busted out of her shell when she had the thought:

“Why should I be sitting here admiring others? Why don’t I just do it myself?”

2. Don’t Give a Shit About What Other People Think.

Moments before she took the stage, I was giving her last words of encouragement and she said,
“I’m doing this for me….not for anyone else.”

She explained that she’s never going to see these people again, and why should she care what they think.
With that attitude of not trying to please other people or care what they think –
she was able to go out there and perform from her heart
and truly her.
And it was fucking magnificent.

3. Whatever’s Going To Happen is Going To Happen – So Just Enjoy The Moment, Have Fun.

Looking back at the experience, Viola says,
“If I was so wound up in myself and freaked out or chickened out – I’d have to live with that for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to live with regret.
I want to DO IT.”

After the show, we went out to celebrate,
and made wishes for the future on the Empire State Building at 2am…
and blew it out…
This photo was taken moments before the Empire State Building’s lights went out.
Viola le Feu was Queen of New York in my eyes last night.
Screen Shot 2014-07-10 at 12.36.47 PM

And this powerful, kickass, blonde from Scotland who sits next to me
is my hero this morning…
because she had the courage
to rock out one of her dreams
and made it happen.

And I wish that courage and strength and love
to every single one of you.

Wild love from both of us.
We can all do this together.

Now go out and kick ass today.
And “like” Viola le Feu on facebook – to keep up with her adventures and encourage her journey.

And let us know in the comments how we can help and support you and your dream.

Ask yourself what’s holding you back from your dream.
How can we help support you to slay the fear and push ahead to the life of your dreams?

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The Coolest, Wildest, Weirdest Things To Do In NYC: A Guide for the Freaks

i love new york veronica varlow
I have a full on hot, wild love affair with NYC.

For two years when I first arrived here, I was a tour guide on a double-decker bus,
cruising down the streets in the open air
introducing tourists to my lover.

Here’s some of my favorite must-do, must-see picks of Gotham City:

♥  Make a wish on the Empire State Building and “blow” it out at 2am.

Seeking a beautiful and romantic view of the city lights and the moonlight?
The Empire State Building is open until 2am at the moment!
Head over to this epic Art Deco building at midnight and beat the crowds.
Two years ago on my birthday, I started making my wishes and “blowing out” the lights when they flicker and go out every night at 2am.

new york city skyline

The Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building from my Bedroom Window in Brooklyn.

♥  Visit the Slipper Room (NYC’s oldest Burlesque and Vaudeville House) and take a picture of yourself in the gutter out front (It’s tradition.  I say so.)

The Slipper Room is my burlesque home and where I first saw burlesque and got my start.
It’s home to magicians, aerialists, burlesque performers, comedians, musicians, and fire performers.
Go be enchanted.
veronica varlow gutter photo

♥  Dine in a secret 1870s style Parisian train car on a rooftop.

Talk about romantic! Le Train Bleu on top of Bloomingdales is one of the best kept secrets in NYC.
Address: 1000 3rd Avenue, NY, NY – enter Bloomingdales and go to 6th floor.
le train bleu

♥  Dance among the club kids and you will never want to go home again.

Kayvon Zand and his partner, Anna Evans are the King and Queen of NYC nightlife. Their parties include Dorian Gray, Sex Fifth Avenue and others. Dance in a world of hot imagination.
Screen Shot 2014-05-19 at 11.54.55 PM

♥ Ride the World Famous Coney Island Cyclone!

Coney Island is an enchanted place – go take in all the sights: ride the Cyclone, go to the world famous Coney Island Freak Show, make out on the Wonder Wheel and GO SEE Lola Star! <3
Lola Star

♥  Have a picnic in Central Park and wander around the sights.

Central Park Must-Sees are:
Alice in Wonderland Statue
Strawberry Fields and the John Lennon “Imagine” Mosaic
Shakespeare Garden
Conservatory Garden (where Burke and I got engaged!)
burke heffner veronica varlow

♥ Rock out at Punk Rock Heavy Metal Karaoke

Punk Rock Heavy Metal Karaoke is a NYC staple. Now held at Fontana’s, you get to scream to your punk rock favorites as a live band plays behind you.
Pretty bad ass.

♥ Duck down a dark alley and into a real Prohibition Era bar.

The Back Room serves up beverages in tea cups (just in case the joint gets raided). Once a real Speakeasy 85 years ago, this place delivers that old world charm of New York City.
Look for the “Toy Company” sign. Go down alley. You’ll see the secret door.
Once inside, peek behind the bookshelf to another secret room.
amanda palmer neil gaiman veronica varlow burke heffner

♥ Visit one of the most impressive collections of Egyptian artifacts in the world at the Brooklyn Museum

The Brooklyn Museum houses World-Class Egyptian treasures – not to be missed. Go early to avoid crowds and wander the artifacts in silence.

♥ Walk over the Brooklyn Bridge and go grab a slice of pizza at Grimaldi’s.

Do this at Sunset or Sunrise for fantastic views and a gorgeous skyline.  Also, nighttime walks for the city lights are gorgeous.
You can wave to the Statue of Liberty from the bridge!
girl gang

♥ Screw Broadway. Go see incredible immersive theater and be a part of the action.

Check out Sleep No More and Queen of the Night.
I can’t tell you anything else,
but just trust me on this one – you’ve never seen anything like this before.

♥ Check out these secret underground party lists for the best things to do whether you are a visitor or a local!

These three lists are your new best friends in New York City.
You’re welcome.
Nonsense NYC
Gemini and Scorpio
The Skint

jeff stark

What’s your favorite things to do in this enchanted city?
Tell me in the comments.
Looking forward to seeing you on a wild New York City adventure!

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Valentine’s Day Edition: 3 Ways To Arouse Your Lover Without Touching Them

Picture 173
From making my living as a burlesque performer for the past six years,
I’ve learned secrets of how to engage and intrigue from a distance.
Here are three of my favorite secrets to really cast a love spell on your crush.
These 3 techniques aren’t limited to the stage, they can work in an office, classroom, bar, or bedroom.

Secret Number 1: Come a Little Closer… the Scientific and Sensual Effect of a Whisper.
Close your eyes and think about it – the last time someone brushed inches away from your ear and whispered.
Whispering means a secret….
and everyone loves secrets.
It also means…this is just for you. We are co-conspirators.
I’m whispering so that no one else can hear my words but you – which packs a sensual punch.
Picture 174
It’s so saucy and triggers wild chemicals in our brains – it even has a name: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR). This term was coined to describe ‘a sensory experience characterized by a pleasant tingling sensation in the head and scalp’.

Whispering does just that.

Living in New York City, with construction sounds, honking, loud voices and music – I’ve learned to block a lot of sounds out. But a whisper will get me hyper-focused – and snap me to attention in a second. On Steady Health, the phenomena of whispering was known to create an “Attention Induced Head Orgasm” (AIHO).

Yes, please!

TIP: Wanna wrap your crush around your finger?
While everyone else is shouting for attention at a bar or club, draw in closer….
and whisper.
Picture 172

Secret Number 2:  Scent and Sensuality.
Scent is a notorious tool of seduction.  75% of our emotions are triggered by smell, according to studies by the Social Issue Research Centre.
Do you want to linger in a lover’s mind?
Time to hunt down a scent that best captures your essence.
Coco Chanel advised to “dab perfume where you want to be kissed.”

I run the oils through my feather fans before I perform on stage so the audience not only has a visual, but they have a sensory experience as well, as my scent is literally fanned through the theater.

Yesterday,  Burke was packing up his camera gear to go take some high fashion mugshots, and I was working on a writing assignment.  Suddenly, I was wolfing around the room – caught by a scent.  I tried to figure out what it was, was it in a box I just opened, was it coming from my tea cup, was it on a letter in a stack of mail nearby? I tracked it down to Burke’s neck.  He was trying on a new scent by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab…it made me regret he had to leave so soon.

Wearing the same scent will have people recall that particular scent to you – even when you’re not around.  So…dab that oil on a lover’s pillow to make them dream of you.  Dab it on little notes or love letters that you send.  Did you leave your scarf at a “friends” place? Be sure it smells like you.

Trust me on this one.  It works.

Tip: Although it’s tempting, don’t pick a scent that is currently popular. You want to pick a scent that is distinguishable to you. I love oils for this purpose.

Secret Number 3: Put a Spell on them with your Eyes.
Eye contact is confidence. Don’t believe me? Try this on your crush.
Picture 175
When taking off a winter coat, people will look down as they pull their arms out of the sleeves.
We have taken off coats a million times.
We know how to do it, yet we all do the same thing.
To engage your crush, start to say hello and continue normal conversation while taking off your coat.
Use slow calm motions.
Maintain eye contact the entire time – never once looking away.
Slide the coat off and while still maintaining eye contact –
throw it on a chair beside you, without looking down.
Confidence is sexy. Eye contact is engaging. Emotionally, eye contact creates a shared experience. Before you were taking a break from conversation to ditch a winter coat. With eye contact, your crush is emotionally unbuttoning your clothes with you.  In public, it can be a fantastic subtle suggestion. In private, when done right, emotional unbuttoning can quickly translate into physical unbuttoning…
You know what to do.

Go get ’em, Tiger.
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