First Kiss: The 11 Secret Messages You Send


Let’s get down with one of my favorite subjects….
The Kiss.
I watched this the first time with the sound off….
)

This video went viral on Tuesday, and then got a lot of flack because the people involved are models, musicians and performers – but say what you will – there is real life chemistry in this video and here’s what you can learn from it:

About the Way We Flirt

♥ Hair Touching Signals: During a 51 second time period in the above video, a woman touches her hair every 15 seconds (watch at 10 seconds, 26 seconds, 35 seconds, 50 seconds and again at 1:01 seconds) This is a tell-tale instinctual flirting sign.

♥ Mirroring: At 2:52, notice the woman mirroring the exact same stance as the man with her hands behind her back. We mirror the actions people we are attracted to.

♥  Slightly Exaggerated Facial Expressions: Notice all the lip biting, lip licking and raised eyebrows with direct eye contact before the kiss even takes place. Women also tend to blink more around someone they are interested in (watch :10-:15 and :34-:35 to see a lot of blinking going on). Heightened facial expressions are a subtle sign of interest.

♥  The Eye Contact Gaze/Look Away/Gaze Back: We speak volumes with eye contact. The classic move of holding a direct gaze, looking down or away and then holding that gaze again is a subconscious flirting MUST. When looking at videoed performances of my burlesque routines, that is one thing I notice myself doing consistently – it’s my natural instincts in effect – flirting with the audience.

♥   The Innocent Brush Against: Notice our girl at 2:49, brushing down his chest after the kiss and then going on to mirror his body language. She is loving this guy.

♥   The All-Encompassing Move. Notice how the woman moves at the 1:14 mark – she leans in to his right and to his left while looking down and then ends touching his forehead with her own. This is a super hot flirty move – plus the foreheads touching signifies connection. Those moments before a kiss are electric…make them last with softly brushing noses, coming inches away from their lips with your own, and dragging the side of your face along theirs.

About the Way We Kiss

The interesting tell-tale signs of a kiss have nothing to do with the mouth to mouth part. It has everything to do with where we place our hands.

♥  The Romantic Kiss.   At 1:37 – the woman’s hands clasped behind his neck is the classic I’m-feeling-super-romantic-toward-you move. Think faerie tales and poetry.

♥ The I Want You Now Kiss.  Grabbing your lover’s face and cradling their face in your hands is a lusty hot signal. Watch 2:07 – serious, Brother, damn those are some moves.  I also like to throw in raking my nails across the back of a lover’s neck and taking their earlobe between my thumb and pointer finger and squeezing.

♥ The I Think You’re Cool But I’m Not Into You Kiss. At 2:02, notice how the couple is holding each other at the waist with distance in between like they are slow dancing in middle school. This couple has a appreciation connection, but there’s no love match there.

♥ The I’m A Little Kinky Kiss. At 2:18, notice our guy biting her upper lip. This is a playful message that he’s into a bit more than just your average romance.

♥ The Sensualist Kiss.  At 2:24, notice their noses softly dragging across each other while they kiss slowly. These are people who like to take their time and indulge in a world of passion.

What does your kissing style say about you?

Special Message to You:  After Tuesday’s post on the Terry Richardson scandal and my own brush with a manipulative photographer, I want to thank all of you who shared, re-tweeted and commented.

I can’t stop the predators, but I can share my experience in their tactics to help you recognize them and get out of there.

Thank you for reading – this is for you:

Love,
Veronica
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The 3 Most Erotic Places To Touch Someone With Your Clothes Still On

modern-witch.jpg

You.

Yeah, you.

Don’t think that I don’t see the page views soar through the roof here when I give some sassy tips.

You naughty thing.

Well, I’ll indulge you.  Because it’s almost Valentine’s Day.  And I know exactly what you want.

I have schemes AND scientific backup.  Damn. Ready to be schooled?

♥  The Hands

Science:   A Mayo Clinic Study found that the sensitivity of our palms of our hands are second only to *ahem* down there.

Story:  Junior Year High School.  Study Hall.  I’m the goth punk freak that exactly three people talk to.   Cool kid, Jennifer Belsy, overhears me telling my friend that I’ve been reading palms since I was 10 and that the sight runs in my family.   Jennifer sticks out her palm to put my eyes on and the next day, *bam* I suddenly have a line of girls (who previously never knew I existed) waiting to be read.

If I knew then what I know know, I would have been class president by the end of the year. Most people do not realize how sensitive, intimate and receptive our palms are. Business people talk about how important a handshake is, and they are right!

DO this:  Grab your crush’s hand, and expose their palm face up, cradling their hand in your own. With your free hand, gently drag your fingers from their wrist to their fingertips, unfolding their hand if it is clenched, relaxing their fingers to a gentle curve if they are stretched stiff and straight.

Then using the most delicate touch, trace your fingertips along the lines of their palm.  When your crush asks what you see…. murmur… “mmmm, interesting.”  Study the palm chart below so that you have some idea of what you’re talking about, and call out the names of each line as you trace.  Lean close.  Make sure you look directly into your crush’s eyes as you say….”this is your love line” and drop your eyes back down to the palm…. “this is your life line” and drop your eyes, and so on. 

Finish with an insightful Hmmmm, then fold their hand back up and release it.  When they press you for secrets (like you’ve just been hypnotized through touch and will now be my sex slave forever) tell your crush you’re just learning, but say it in a confident way that lets them know you know exactly what lies in their future.

This chart is your friend:

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For more info – Gala has got a damn good Palmistry 101 post.

♥ The Scalp

Science:  Giving someone a scalp massage releases a chemical in the brain known as  oxytocin, a stress blocking hormone that provides a sense of calm while enhancing sexual pleasure, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.

Story:  In high school, I worked at a hair salon – I would answer phones, check people in and schedule appointments . One day, after a stylist called in sick and they were overwhelmed with clients – they asked me to do the shampoos.  Now.  Keep in mind, I’m not allowed to date, I’m 17 and haven’t even held anyone’s hand yet (minus a spin-the-bottle girl kiss) and I am wildly repressed.  Teenage hormones are raging through my body and I’m an untouchable.  The mere thought of touching anyone’s head seemed so overwhelmingly sensual to me.  I lathered up that shampoo and went for it – dragging my nails and scrubbing slowly.

After that day, women would come in and personally request me to shampoo their hair.  I went from a floor sweeping no-one to shampoo pervert specialist.   I got to New York City on the tips that I saved from that job!

Do This:  You know how people are always trying to do the back massage thing?  Here’s a fact – shoulder blades – not an erogenous zone.
Scalp?  Yes, please!
Turn the tables on a boring back massage by walking your fingers up to the scalp.  Start from the back of the neck at the bottom of the skull and start to massage.  Let your fingers fan out.  In other words, start with fingertips all close together in a spot and let them all glide apart slowly, each finger parting the hair.  Glide the tips of fingers and fingernails right along the scalp.  Once you’ve reached the top of the head you can step it up a little by starting at the bottom again and this time, after fanning your fingers out, close them again catching the hair in your fist, gently pull the hair a little before releasing. Be careful not to pull single strands, but distribute the pressure evenly over the whole handful. Your crush will be begging for more!

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♥  Behind Earlobes and Along Jaw.

Science:  The Kinsey Institute has classified this area as an erogenous zone for both men and women.  Body language studies have shown that when men or women are flirting – they subconsciously tend to expose their neck to their person of interest.

Story:   Vampires.  I’m obsessed with them.  And not the sparkly kind.  When I discovered Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles – the stories were dark, sensual and mysterious.  Before I even had my first kiss, I would fantasize about what it would be like to be bitten on the neck.  I wanted to wander across a vampire so badly – because – hey…
1.  Eternal life.
2.  Neck bites.
Sold.

Do This:  Pretend your crush has a stray strand of hair on their cheek.  Sweep it aside and tuck it behind their ear.  But do it SLOWLY.  Drag your fingertips along the back of their ear and behind the earlobe and down the curve behind the jaw.  Play very casual, but it may take a second or third brushing to get them looking (and feeling) just right. Then announce, “That’s better.” And act like nothing just happened.  Meanwhile, your crush is melting.  Trust me.

Once you’ve snagged your Crush and neck touching is totally legal – take a feather to the back of their ear and trace it slowly along their jawline.

Who knew this innocent little feather would be a powerful weapon of seduction?

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Happy Valentine’s Day, you Naughty Things.
Bites and Feathers,
Veronica
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3 Ways to Know If Someone is Great In Bed..All Before the Dessert Arrives.

The ceiling was dripping with thousands of Christmas lights.
The tiny restaurant was tucked in a second floor window front in the East Village.
And for the very first time I ever slid across from him for a meal, the table was so small between us, our faces were practically touching.

Perfect.
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We hadn’t even kissed yet. It would be another three weeks before that happened….outside, under a full moon. But I digress……

I could tell that night. In that very first meal together, that he would make an amazing lover.

And I was right on.
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These are 3 ways to spot the lover of your dreams….before the check at the restaurant even arrives. I can tell if someone will be good in bed or not, just by the way they eat. When partaking in a delicious meal…here are the three questions you should remember:

1. Do they moan while they eat?

Do they hum, “mmmmmmm”, the second they put a bite in their mouth? Does their face light up? Do they remark…”Wow.” This is going to clue me in to if they are an expressive lover or not.

Do they gush over something amazing they tasted? Do they insist you try a bite with enthusiastic vigor?

Before moving to the bedroom, ask yourself: Do you know, without having to ask them, if they enjoyed their meal or not?

You want the person who is going to moan in delight over the simplest of pleasures.

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2. Are they kind to the Waiter/Waitress/Barista?

Watch with an eagle eye how your date treats the wait staff at a restaurant for this will reveal all. Everyone wants to look their best on a date, so of course your date should be showing you their best side, but what about the waiter?

If your date is aware of and kind to the waiter, this shows that your date is open and communicative. He or She appreciates that someone is serving them a meal, and is being interactive and respectful in return. This is someone that will care about revving up your va-va-voom and will be wildly attentive to you.

If your date is sweet to you and rude to the waiter, ditch ’em! That person will end up treating you like they treat the waiter after they’ve gotten what they want.

3. Are they taking their time to savor every moment of their meal?

Do they lick the spoon at the last bite of desert?
Are they using their fingers to get every last bite?
Are they offering bites of their food?
Perhaps they might even be making the move to feed you!

If a delicious meal is put in front of someone, and they mindlessly shove it into their mouth…you do not want this person as your lover. Trust me, unless two minutes of rushed humping then back to TV is your style.

This is how I see it…all of life is a delicious meal in some way or another…and some people never stop to savor it.

You want to seek out the ones that do.

The way they eat plays a lot into it. In fact, just yesterday, I met my vampy friend, Alise, for a quick coffee break in town. When the iced latte she ordered was slightly foaming over the rim of the glass, without even thinking, she casually took her finger, traced it along the top of the glass, and stuck her finger in her mouth.

Damn.

Noted.

Bon appetit, Lovers!